• davel [he/him]@lemmy.ml
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    10 months ago

    My wife & I never even discussed whether she should or would change her name. She’s not my property.

    • derfl007@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      it doesn’t have to be about property, it can be about showing off that your officially one family now. And i think that’s a valid reason for changing your last name (aka family name)

      You can always opt to take on a double name, you can both take on your wife’s name if you prefer that, or whatever. But just because a woman chooses to take her husband’s name, doesn’t mean that she’s now his property. Your children also aren’t your property just because they have your last name

      Edit: And before someone brings up the fact that the historic reason is property: Things can change and people like to stick to certain traditions regardless of the history that the tradition carries.

      Just because your last name is Smith doesn’t mean that you need to become a blacksmith, even though that’s where the name originates from

      • triplenadir@lemmygrad.ml
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        10 months ago

        changing names when getting married isn’t the same as one partner changing their name to the other’s, who doesn’t change theirs…

        • Gabu@lemmy.ml
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          10 months ago

          Wow, congratulations, your little observation saved the world! There’s no more sexism, racism, nor any sort of abuse thanks to you! Well done.

    • Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Where my wife is over here stealing the last names of my family, my family’s family, and her family’s family. She’s collecting last names like Thanos collecting stones.

      She needs to be stopped before she’s related to everyone.

    • Glifted@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I get what you’re saying but having a single last name is convenient (doesn’t necessarily have to be the dude’s name). Especially if you plan to have kids.

      If your kids have two last names, and they marry someone with two last names it could theoretically be a compounding problem. You gotta draw the line somewhere

    • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      I appreciate your progressive attitudes, though I wonder whether you considered how your comment may be received by married Lemmings who’ve already made a different decision than you. Could they perceive an unjustified attack you didn’t intend?

      • davel [he/him]@lemmy.ml
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        10 months ago

        I don’t think I’m responsible for other adults’ reactions to my life choices or my lived experiences.

        • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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          10 months ago

          You are correct!

          You are not directly responsible for everyone’s reactions.

          That said, an awareness of how our words and experiences may resonate with differing perspectives shows consideration and helps create a more inclusive space.

          What do you think about helping us create the kind of platform we all want to be on?

          • davel [he/him]@lemmy.ml
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            10 months ago

            It’s true that as a lemmy.ml admin, I’m not going out of my way to make this an inclusive space for traditional family values. I have different priorities for whom I make this space inclusive.

            • bane_killgrind@lemmy.ml
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              10 months ago

              So implying that name by marriage still implies ownership, excludes me, a man that wants to fly the banner of his wife’s clan.

              You aren’t supporting your “different priorities” very well.

              • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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                10 months ago

                Rarely see it spelled out that clearly, I think that’s a huge issue with modern “progressivism”.

                • Gabu@lemmy.ml
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                  10 months ago

                  Progressivism has no inherent need to be all-encompassing. In fact, keeping certain groups *cough conservatives cough* not included is an essential part of successful progressivism.