So this dude is basically a 46 year old man child and I don’t wanna armchair diagnose people, but he’s probably on the spectrum.

He’ll say a pun or a “funny” phrase, stare at you till you acknowledge it, then when you do, he’ll just keep saying it over and over. Even if you don’t acknowledge it he’ll say it a bunch then switch to a new one.

He’s obsessed with making fart noises then pretending it’s someone else he’ll even do it while we’re eating lunch. I’ve tried the politely asking him to stop he just says “oh you know I’m just joking” then when I tell him its genuinely annoying he goes full kicked puppy and acts super sad for a few hours and gets all woe is me saying stuff like “oh well I guess everyone hates me I’ll just shut up forever”. Sometimes he even goes full non verbal and literally just tries to communicate by pointing and or writing notes.

It’s not like he’s an asshole he a genuinely good guy he’s good at his job and he’s got your back when you need it.

I guess I just have a hard time finding the balance between not being an ass to a guy with zero social skills and losing my sanity because he can’t be quiet for 5 minutes.

  • Ayumu Tsukasa @lemm.eeOP
    21·
    1 year ago

    So the issue is it’s like a loop you be nice and ignore him he thinks he’s cool.

    You be mean and tell him he’s annoying he paints you as the asshole.

    You be nice and tell him he’s being annoying he throws a pity party and makes you feel guilty for saying anything.

    • DogMuffins@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
      36·
      1 year ago

      Sorry mate. IMO this is really bread and butter for a team leader.

      You’re not children. You don’t need to be “nice” or “mean”.

      • hey guy
      • I’m really enjoying working with you. You seem to be amazing at x. I’m really hoping I can learn about y from you.
      • If I’m really honest though, I just can’t concentrate with the fart noises. I know it’s just a joke and maybe others are ok with it but it really disrupts my flow, every time.
      • Anyhow, how have you been going with z.
        • foggy@lemmy.world
          62·
          1 year ago

          You’d be surprised how good ChatGPT is at providing an answer just like the one homie just gave ya.

      • Usul_00_@lemmy.world
        5·
        1 year ago

        There is an effective formula for feedback I like.

        1. When you x it has y effect
        2. Pause for them to reply, ask questions, or even better - suggest an alternative
        3. It would be better if z

        In this case, when you make repeat the same joke it loses all humor value and becomes an annoyance.

        It would be better if jokes were limited in use, and certainly not repeated.

    • NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world
      3·
      1 year ago

      he throws a pity party and makes you feel guilty for saying anything.

      Have you tried not feeling guilty? :-)

      It is still the same: It is his bad behaviour. Regardless how many times he switches from one kind of clown to another kind of clown.

      Yes it is hard, you need to stay calm and act like a grown up at all times. Otherwise he ‘has got you’.

      If you can stay calm, then talk about his behaviour, and how inappropriate it is, and ask him to stop it. Every time.

      • bitcrafter@lemmy.sdf.org
        1·
        1 year ago

        Sure, but what’s the end game supposed to be, then? Just making the same request over and over again indefinitely?

        • NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world
          1·
          1 year ago

          One of them is going to learn something some day (and then a change can happen). Do you ask who? I think it depends on what is worse: giving that talk or having to listen to that talk.