I’m mostly asking this question for smartphones, but I’m also just generally curious how others approach this.

My parents are both 75+ and live across the country. One has a smartphone and a chromebook and the other has a dumbphone and has a Windows laptop. They’re capable, but learning new things is pretty hard, and if anything goes a bit wrong they’re very unlikely to figure out how to get past it themselves.

The Windows laptop is easiest to manage because I can remote in and fix things pretty quick, and browser extensions prevent the ads which might lead to signing up for new services. I gave up on trying to figure out how to remote into the chromebook.

The smartphone is the most problematic since browser extensions are limited and don’t apply to the Google News app, where my dad spends a lot of his time. He’s managed to install a bunch of random apps that he doesn’t remember ever using, so now I have Google FamilyLink installed which should prevent that. But he also inadvertently long-presses on the home screen and moves icons around, removes them, adds new ones, etc.

I’m just looking for any tips people might have on this general topic. We’re all our family’s tech support in some way, it’s just getting more difficult for me as they get older.

  • AttackBunny@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    My mother (mid 70s) and grandmother (early 90s) are obstinate. They wont even TRY to learn how ANY tech works. Neither even understand how to use their dumb cordless house phones 99% of the time. They both have dumb flip phones for emergencies and neither has a computer or tablet.

    2 things I can tell you. 1. Regardless of what they WANT, get them tech that YOU can work with, and refuse to help them with anything else. And 2. Set realistic expectations, from the get go, on how much you can/will help them, and what YOUR schedule allows. Maybe it’s because my family are all narcissistic assholes, but they will suck you dry with the constant needs. I find that the older people get, regardless of their personalities they seemingly all get way more needy like toddlers or worse.

    • middlemuddle@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      I’m pretty fortunate in that my family doesn’t harbor unreal expectations, though I could see how that might happen. They ask me for help, but it’s always based on my availability and they just live with a situation until I get around to fixing it. I’ve set boundaries before, and they respect them. I want to get my mom a smartphone because she loves taking pictures and carries an old Canon camera everywhere. It’d be a steep learning curve for her to pickup a smartphone now, but I’d like to set some guardrails around the experience so it’s, 1) not too intimidating for her, 2) not too burdensome for me to support, and 3) gives her a better option for an activity she enjoys.

      • AttackBunny@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        My mother still gets those disposable film cameras and then has the film developed. I feel your pain.

        I gusss the biggest question is is that even something your mom wants. If yes, I personally feel like the iPhone is the most user friendly smartphone for older people, but I understand the way people feel about them.

        Either way if she wants to learn how to use is, then set some time aside, and go through everything step by step, together, in person. Then either she can take notes, or you can give her a “how to manual” that’s specifically for what she wants to use most frequently.

        Something like to take a pic select this icon.

        If you can’t find an app, go to Home Screen and click search above the bottom bar. Type the name.

        How to get to Home Screen. Swipe up from bottom of screen.

        And so on.

        That way she can have analog version of what she really needs to know and anything else you can help when you can. It’s not foolproof, but I’ve seen it work well for a lot of things.

        • middlemuddle@beehaw.orgOP
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          1 year ago

          she can take notes

          Oh lordy, that woman will absolutely take notes. :)

          Appreciate the suggestions, your approach does sound like a generally good way to keep it simple.

          • AttackBunny@beehaw.org
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            1 year ago

            lol. If she is a huge note taker, it may be better to you to basically make her a quick start guide yourself, so the top 10 things she’ll need to know as on like 1 piece or paper. Either way, good luck!

          • AttackBunny@beehaw.org
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            1 year ago

            lol. If she is a huge note taker, it may be better to you to basically make her a quick start guide yourself, so the top 10 things she’ll need to know as on like 1 piece or paper. Either way, good luck!

          • AttackBunny@beehaw.org
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            1 year ago

            lol. If she is a huge note taker, it may be better to you to basically make her a quick start guide yourself, so the top 10 things she’ll need to know as on like 1 piece or paper. Either way, good luck!