I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.
The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.
Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.
The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.
If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.
I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?
What do you talk about to your coworkers?
What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).
If you really don’t like taking to people that much, try for remote work. Once I almost went a full week without hearing another coworkers voice.(I’m not counting Teams chats bc I actually have work discussions there and I can ignore them as needed.)
If that’s not possible, learn to lean into extroversion a little. If someone wants to chat, let them talk a bit. You could let them talk about themselves the whole time, extroverts love that shit.
Give it ten minutes and then tell them you’re on a deadline or something and need to get back to work. If you really can’t handle it at the moment, do that second part immediately when they start talking.
The key is to be polite and respectful, but still assertive. It takes practice to get that mix right, so try it with some friends if you’re not sure how it comes across.
And just throwing it out there - I know you said you’re not looking to make friends, but this is what 80% of “networking” really is; just making friends enough that they’ll be a good reference.