I was offered a promotion. Looks good on the resume, no extra pay and a lot more headache. I’m already burnt out, have no motivation, etc. I wish I could take like 3-6 months off to just reset and level out. But that’s not in the cards for me.

little dog is getting a second heartworm test. her first one came back positive today, which is odd because she’s been on preventatives the past three years. fingers crossed it’s just a fluke and we won’t have to do the four month treatment which involves exercise restriction.

Pretty okay.

My team is in the Super Bowl. Again.

Go Chiefs!

My 5mo is having a really hard time sleeping which means my partner and I haven’t really slept through the night in 5 months. It’s affected us psychologically. We keep hoping he’ll come through. Every once in a while he’ll go for 6 hours but it’s so inconsistent. The naps are a real point of stress, too.

Worse than ever :( over 14 years, and I have an audience of 4 persons, four persons in fourteen years and 2 months :( who can match that artistic record?

Still in uni, got a snow day. It was a nice change of pace since this month is gonna drive me crazy. I had to pull back from a couple activities because the graphic design portfolio admission deadline is in the beginning of March. (One activity was a part time job I really like— which is an ouch. But I’ll hopefully be able to pick it up again once this is all over, based on my supervisor…) The other one is my vice president position at a community service club, but the term is ending in a month, so it’s perfect timing.

Speaking of clubs, I’ve been trying to revive the AIGA club at my school, and we voted on board today. I became president through a unanimous vote. (☍◡⁰) it was not my intention at first, but no one was raising their hand to take the role… And even the faculty advisor said she was gonna call out my name if I didn’t raise my hand lol. I think I maybe, just maybe made a good impression since I’ve been creating the building blocks. And I was too dumb to realize that ppl would want me to lead since I was… already leading, I guess. 🫠 Haha whoops.

But I’m sure it’ll pay off. I’m a little nervous but also excited! Life is crazy right now but I hope everything ends well! (Because it would be even more awkward to not get into the design program when I’m the president of the design club ._.)

US healthcare sucks. I’m gonna have to stop seeing my therapist, as they’re out of network, and financials are too tight right now. Also I can’t get my stimulant prescription, it’s constantly in high demand and low supply. Can’t afford name brand, of course.

Annoying and painful. Too much to go into, but basically, my muscles seem to have a vendetta against me.

Also, I think my psych meds aren’t working right anymore. I’m beginning to experience anxieties that I haven’t had for well over a decade. Something’s off. Need to figure that shit out.

Otherwise, all is good, I guess. I think I’ve come to also realize why metal calms me the fuck down. Like, for a lot of people it’s energetic, but it brings me peace.

Didn’t really know why until I posted that Power Rangers theme on here yesterday. Went and listened to a few cartoon themes from the stuff I watched when I first fell in love with TV and especially animation. Half of them are straight up fucking metal. SWAT Kats (which had two equally badass themes), Biker Mice From Mars, etc.

I would rent SWAT Kats and Power Rangers on VHS as if they were fucking core foods I couldn’t survive without.

I think that’s why it brings me comfort. Psychologically, it’s kind of the first music genre I have associated with enjoyable experiences.

The good: my older sister and I went to see my biological dad for the first time in a decade.

The bad: my weekend is over and I’m physically and mentally exhausted.

The bittersweet: I found out from my dad that my baby sister, who I hadn’t seen since she was born, was taken into foster care and then adopted by a family in Alaska. I’m super bummed because I really wanted to be a part of her life again. He says he has contact information for the family, but I’m not holding my breath.

You’ve read that many books already this year? I thought I was doing good with having read a book in January and one in February. I’m about to start on Nick Cutter’s horror novel, “The Troop,” which I’ve been meaning to read for 10 years now.

Reading, trying to write, hoping to get back to playing piano and listening to good music again. The weather is very warm and sunny for us right now - I need to get out and walk while it lasts!