But I have no money and lemons are expensive! If only there was a way we could acquire lemons without paying for them… Anyone know where I could find a lemon tree?
Very correct. You can solve bad culture by throwing more money at the problem. Preferably all at once with zero maintenance budget or governance so that the amenities in question can become non-functional monuments to your superior culture. Future generations will find these and marvel at your ingenuity from the safety of the water cooler.
There’s some new research that shows raising pay is not great for retention. Studies say it’s better to take that money and put it into a long-term benefit line a pension, profit sharing, while life insurance with a cash out value, etc.
As a professional in this field, top reasons would be…
I don’t see pizza party or ping pong table on that list so you’re obviously not a professional.
A real professional knows employees want pizza parties instead of higher pay and they want more responsibilities with the same pay!
:P
Pizza party solves everything!!
Or…a lemon party!
I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?
Make some kind of lemon powered rocket launcher and force life to take it’s lemons back!
Make lemonade, obviously
But I have no money and lemons are expensive! If only there was a way we could acquire lemons without paying for them… Anyone know where I could find a lemon tree?
My top reasons for leaving a job:
The three Big Nos. My optimal work-life balance is 0.1-99.9. If they trust me to be able to do even one thing, that pay better be huge.
Almost all of these applied to the last job I left, so I guess it’s pretty spot on.
Obviously right? I mean this post is definitely a joke
So ping pong table falls under the third point right? More ping pong = more fun = better culture? Right? /s just for clarity
Very correct. You can solve bad culture by throwing more money at the problem. Preferably all at once with zero maintenance budget or governance so that the amenities in question can become non-functional monuments to your superior culture. Future generations will find these and marvel at your ingenuity from the safety of the water cooler.
There’s some new research that shows raising pay is not great for retention. Studies say it’s better to take that money and put it into a long-term benefit line a pension, profit sharing, while life insurance with a cash out value, etc.
Raises and bonuses had about a 3-month effect.
That seems highly suspect.
Was this research sponsored by the association for research into golden parachuting out of a pillaged company?
you really a pro, I’m looking for other jobs precisely because of 1 and 2, even though the rest are all great at my current job