Bonus points if you scribble in a “le Walmart” with a sharpie

Me? Nothing. You’re the one deepthroating a microphone.

I think I’ve been doing toilet wrong

I know you’re joking but you basically just suggested buying a pack of frozen mixed veggies so you can pick out and use only the carrots for your stew, and the idea of someone actually doing that sends my brain into a tailspin

If I had a nickel for every time I was troubleshooting with a friend and discovered they thought turning the monitor off and on again was “rebooting the computer” I’d be depressingly wealthy.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Do they… they torture them with a rubber horse…?

ETA: Goddammit it says rubber hose

Nah, the nakedness was meant to symbolize humanity gaining self-awareness, which separates them from the purity and innocence of other animals. After Adam and Eve eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, they realize they’re naked and feel instinctively ashamed of that (as most people would, but regular animals wouldn’t), so they cover themselves with leaves. In fact IIRC, the fact that they’re covering themselves up is what tips off God that they ate the fruit.

I’ve always just assumed our particular corner of space is considered the “Florida” of the universe

So this is totally random and unsolicited, but I’ve seen you around some of the communities I’m in and I noticed you sometimes use slashes to emphasize words (e.g. /actual/). Maybe that’s a personal preference, but just in case, I thought I’d let you know that Lemmy supports Markdown formatting, so you can italicize words by wrapping them in asterisks. For example, *actual* becomes actual

ITT: Marketing specialist vs engineer

Save an ox, plow a farmer

My coworker flips his shit every time I include a ternary operator in a PR. He also insists on refactoring any block of code longer than two lines into its own function, even when it’s only used once.

He is not well liked.

You are a beautiful person. May the wind be ever at your back

At this point if I can’t find a “Jump to Recipe” button displayed prominently at the top of the page within three seconds of visiting I just nope out and find a less cancerous site

An internal browser is a good idea, but in the interim, this problem can be solved by changing your default browser/app settings. You should be able to make it so that any link automatically opens in Firefox, or make it so that clicking on YouTube links prompts you to select which app you’d like to open the link with. Not sure what type of device you’re working with, but on Android you can change these settings by going to Settings > Apps > (insert app name here) and looking under the “Defaults” header.

Easily the most disappointing day of Oprah’s life

Lol had to try 🤷‍♂️

Depending on how you look at it, this might be kinda the opposite of what you’re asking for, but I thought I’d throw it out anyway in case you may still be interested: The Ideal Sponger Life is about a Japanese salaryman who gets isekai’d (willingly and intentionally, for a change) and marries the queen of a desert nation who needs a husband for political reasons but is reluctant to marry any of her statesmen (again, for political reasons).

The manga/novel (hasn’t been animated just yet) mainly focuses on the political relationships between the nations of the isekai world, and the MC struggling to figure out how to reconcile his cultural differences while also being a decent diplomat for the sake of his nation and his wife.

Part of that is the fact that MC’s marriage was initially purely political, but he and the queen grow to genuinely love each other. However, polygyny is the common practice in this new nation, especially among aristocrats, so MC is basically required to have a harem of wives, even though he very much doesn’t want any other than the queen. This results in him having to find clever, politically acceptable ways to avoid advances from (shrewd, surprisingly well written) women who want to join his harem to garner power for their families.

In summary: It’s a political fantasy story that is only technically a harem, and even then it’s not ecchi/oblivious MC/blah, but an integral part of the political intrigue in the story. Don’t know if that’s still a deal breaker for you, but just give the first volume or two a shot. I went in with very low expectations and was blown away with how well the worldbuilding and characters were executed.

Divine Gate was exceedingly mid (not surprising, it’s based off a mobile game), but its OP One Me, Two Hearts is a banger