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I am seriously that dumb. Can you give me an example of someone who used it and was affected by this?

Yeah, none of those are affecting me right now. I don’t think they’re affecting you, either.

Isn’t it weird that you, also, can’t name a single person who was affected by this?

Yeah, but you didn’t bother to actually follow the link or read what it says. There was a bug in Microsoft’s VPN implementation (which no one uses) which affected no one, until they fixed it.

You didn’t answer me, so I’ll give you another chance. You must’ve missed my question last time. Which VPN were you using which stopped working after a windows update?

I hope you weren’t just lying to my face.

No, you’re just making shit up and saying it as if it were fact.

Can you provide a source that it affected “many people and corporations”? If there are so many, it should be easy to name one.

Which VPN were you using that stopped working after a windows update?

Or did you just read a headline and not bother to look into it any further?

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Now say it like you really still love me. After all of these years. After all of those… times… when you said you’d be home. And you weren’t. But I didn’t care because I trusted you implicitly.

And I didn’t even mind that you were OBVIOUSLY fucking them and I didn’t even notice that their address was on that one package they sent you and I could find them and I could… I could…

Umm…

Say it like that.

Now say it like you’re my father and you’re actually proud of me.

Now say it like it is your credit card number and mother’s maiden name.

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In a library? The real me sounds like a nerd. Probably reading some Terry Pratchett or something lame like that.

Glad I’m the super cool nega-me, who doesn’t read books AND probably rides a motorcycle and stuff.

But what if those titties used some unusual rhythms and, more importantly, were also strapped to a horrendous, ever-grinning mask?

The Windowlicker music video makes me feel… Things.

I will not elaborate.

In my defense, it still works. You just have to hold the case together exactly right while you press the power button, and a few of its features are locked behind being better than me at soldering.

So would my cynical, pessimistic ass just expel rainbows and happiness if I touched Nega-me?