Same here. I’ve come to the conclusion that, if I was unwilling to accept anyone that wasn’t of the calibre of Carl Sagan to fill his shoes, I was probably going to wait a long time. I think Degrasse Tyson’s advocacy for black scientists is admirable, as is his willingness to promote religious reconciliation. These weren’t areas of focus for Sagan, but that’s ok. They can be different people, even imperfect people, and maybe that’s good.
I’d encourage you to think about these events as you would a physical injury. A physical injury can hurt for a long time and no amount of recognition or “processing” or “getting over it” can short-cut the all-too-slow healing that needs to take place. It’s no fun and there’s no way to just make it go away.
That said, you can do things that care for the injury while it is healing. I don’t know what these are for you, but for me, I needed to recognize that the people I was angry at were also instrumental in helping me advance.
For example, I had a string of terrible jobs with bad bosses, but that string of terrible jobs led me to someplace that I am very happy to work. Once I realized this, it started getting easier to recognize both that the way I was treated was wrong and that I was also glad that these people were essential to me get to where I am. Even so, it was a long process and physically painful. My anger towards these people did nothing to hurt them, but it was terrible on my health.
I’m sorry you had to experience these things, but I hope they eventually lead you to someplace better.
HCP FTW.