it’s highly personal, so ideally you ask the individual and include their consent in your article. that said, generally speaking, trans people will use their current pronouns, even referring to their pre-transition selves. this is also what’s generally considered polite if you don’t know them, so it’s pretty suspect that the article is not doing that
still, something about malice and incompetence…
fwiw you’ve conveyed the same general question i have about the situation, albeit far more eloquently than i would have been able to
i am totally down to stop using words that disabled people find offensive, but i need alternatives to express that someone is being needlessly / purposely ignorant or otherwise harmful and is generally worthy of scorn and contempt
which isn’t to say that providing that is the onus on disabled people (it’s really not, their only real obligation is to express their experiences)… but it does make it a lot easier to action on the request
it’s also kind of interesting to approach this conversation both as an outsider, but also as someone who these words do apply to in some capacity
interesting to consider that third places can be virtual in this day and age. i wonder how they compare in terms of healthiness… probably better than not having a third place but worse than an in person one, if i had to guess
really good article
make sure you do your online illegal activity AND RESEARCH ABOUT THOSE ACTIVITIES behind a VPN
if you need to communicate with other people about illegal activity, do it behind an encrypted service like Signal
illegal != immoral
stay safe out there folks
rather than talk about my experience, i tend to think it’s more helpful to have cisgender people imagine themselves in similar hypothetical situations:
imagine everyone in your life started using she/her pronouns for you. how would this make you feel? how does this affect how you react to them? how does this affect how they react to you?
imagine you woke up in a female body. how would you feel? imagine you had to adjust to it for a week. then a month. then a year. then ten years. what adjustments to your life would you have to make? how does this affect how people treat you? how does this affect your behavior? how would you feel about this situation? what would you miss about your previous body?
the second experience is essentially what it’s like to be a transgender man, except it’s from birth and you don’t (necessarily) get to start with the knowledge you’re a guy (some people more intuitively figure it out than others)
these questions hopefully help you develop a sense of what gender means to you, which should help you understand what gender means to us (obv it’s not the same for everyone, and it’s pretty binary, but it’s a decent starting point)
god bless the people giving stool samples so often for the studies. FOUR TIMES A YEAR FOR SIX YEARS?? i did it once and it was awful. and more frequently if they got vaxxed or sick? i would cry
fundamentalism is a coping mechanism for a deregulated nervous system
… YEAH. YEAH THAT. THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY
(i’ve been thinking about this a lot and never could quite put it into words this eloquently)
thanks for sharing this information with us, i think it’s important to discuss this stuff on the fediverse
i notice that beehaw doesn’t have a similar clause in its TOS, as far as i can tell. without the expectation of you answering this question, i’m wondering what the difference is between the two such that cohost has such a clause and beehaw doesn’t. maybe it’s because one is run by an individual and one is run by a small company?
i did a search on cohost itself to see if anyone else talked about this and found this quite extensive thread: https://twitter.com/rahaeli/status/1588769277053739010
so based on what you’ve said and what’s in that thread, i’m gonna update my post with some qualifications about cohost. thanks for piqing my interest in the TOS
is there a way they could protect themselves (“still legally be able to function”) without that clause?
it’s not federated or open, but cohost is a tumblr-alternative run by a group of queer devs who promise not to sell the company or your data. i don’t blame you if you don’t buy into it, but i do like the platform
edit: based on what /u/FaceDeer@kbin.social has mentioned about the TOS, as well as further elaboration i found in a thread about it (https://twitter.com/rahaeli/status/1588769277053739010), i don’t think i can responsibly advocate for cohost, even as a closed/private alternative to tumblr
i really wish you hadn’t been so rude in your response. but i understand that neurofeedback is seen with some skepticism. i don’t really understand it, because it’s not that hard to verify that it’s effective (for both ADHD and PTSD, among other things; the links below pertain to PTSD):
although one does need to dig through research articles for this sort of thing, which is why it took me so long to dig these up (after… two weeks… on a post you replied to after it was two weeks old…) (also idk why getting these to format nicely is so hard, this is the best i can do at 5am)
also, this is treatment i would not recommend if i hadn’t done it myself. and while my trauma responses aren’t the same as what was mentioned in the greentext, there are several responses that were ingrained at what i think is an equally deep level; responses i thought i would have to deal with until i died, before i started neurofeedback
the treatment of trauma is complex and multifaced; i would not recommend only getting neurofeedback treatment (you may be interested in learning that therapy is mandatory at my neurofeedback clinic). however, it is incredibly effective at treating these sort of unconscious response patterns which are highly emotional and unreceptive to therapy or psychiatric medication
please do not take this post as dismissing the effectiveness of therapy or psychiatric medication. i am a big proponent of all of these approaches. they all have their place in addressing various aspects of trauma, and it saddens me when proponents of one talk down on the others
ever since kagi expressed that they’re not interested in caring about the effect of LLMs on the environment (https://kagifeedback.org/d/2425-would-love-to-see-a-blog-post-about-how-kagi-views-the-environmental-impact-of-ai-and-the-ethics-of-how-llms-are-trained/2), i had already hopped off because i could see their talk about “making the world a more humane place” was just talk. so i’m not really surprised to see this shit unfolding either
i’m surprised to see that the dude who replied on my post is actually the kagi guy, though. that’s surprising, i took him for some q&a support mod lmao
but yea i’m trans so i do my best not to support transphobic (or otherwise bigoted) people. seems like it’s in my best interest y’know. and sometimes i don’t know! i was pretty excited for kagi at first blush, it’s really a shame they’re not worth the time or effort
so sick of article titles that say shit like “strike averted” and not “university correctly meets demand for reasonable wage increase” or “money stops getting funneled to profits so that employees can afford nice things”
yeah no, my post is closer to “there’s more than 0% free will” than “there’s 100% free will”. i definitely know too much about trauma to think it’s 100%. but trauma get so deeply ingrained, and it’s so cyclical; that anyone can break free, seems nothing short of miraculous to me. to me, if we had no free will, that would never happen
it’s insane to me that someone could understand the ramifications of trauma on neurobiology and conclude that free will doesn’t exist
i feel like, without free will, no one would ever escape their trauma. without saying something shitty and uncompassionate like “you’re only held back by your trauma because you’re not strong willed enough”; that’s not true at all
but i think, at it’s core, healing from trauma requires two things: a person who you feel safe enough to trust, and the willingness to take the leap and trust again
if you don’t have one or the other, you’re going to really struggle
and that moment where you choose to trust, how can you see that as anything but free will? when everything about your past, your nerves, your biology is screaming at you to do otherwise?
i dunno. i don’t think any of us would have grown past our trauma at all without free will
that said, i think there’s also just too much going on in the brain to conclude there’s no free will for sure. i guess that’s not the same as saying it’s deterministic, which you can’t really say, because physics gets too fucking weird at low levels, right?
anyways, i guess we can never really definitively say whether free will exists or not. but i think you can still make very strong arguments for being compassionate to poor people / traumatized people / people with mental illness / etc without saying we all don’t have free will. it feels a lot like saying we’re all doomed to be what we were made to be and we can’t make a better life for ourselves
it just starts with convincing people, and believing, that we all deserve that
anonette, see if you can get into a good neurofeedback clinic. they can help with these sorts of deeply-ingrained trauma responses
lollll yeah i wondered the same, but i don’t think they have a monopoly on using “tales of” in a title
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really good little detective noir game. i think i finished it in one or two sessions. would recommend
the video game blurb rightfully points out the improved UX on point and clicks, which was a huge improvement on the formula i appreciated a lot
i would have appreciated hearing how the author, personally, found capitalized pronouns to be affirming, because, absent that reasoning, it really does seem like it’s to set up a deferential power dynamic. i don’t really mind respecting the pronouns anyways, but it does mean i don’t really want to be friends with Them until i understand what’s going on there better