“President Trump has the body of a morbidly obese 80 year old with congestive heart failure 27 year old athlete who runs 8 miles per day. The doctors ran more tests because they wanted to know what his secret for longevity is. Turns out it was all that making America great again with nothing but his tiny bare hands.”

Richard Branson.

Lol poor guy. Before we started dating, my wife frequently wore dresses that showed off her legs. Probably caught me staring at them more than once. But in my defense, when a beautiful work of art passes before your eyes, how can you ignore it?

“The weatherman said the word “snow” so now we won’t be picking up this week. You’ll have to wait until next week. Sorry, not sorry. Also, your quarterly payment is due and no, we’re not going to give you a discount for the pickup that we missed.” --Republic Sanitation

All the function parameter and returns types are going to be “any”.

And we’re not going to tell you.

Self hosting is a great opportunity to learn about some popular technologies and even acquire a few sysadmin skills. Required knowledge of a self-hosted solutions tech stack is not gatekeeping any more than required knowledge of tools and building materials is gatekeeping when it comes to renovating your bathroom. In either scenario, if you don’t know what you’re doing, it’s going to be a much more difficult job.

reverse proxies

That said, you should not be exposing any of your services to the public if you don’t know what you’re doing. That’s a quick way to a bad time.

What’s really annoying is when you spend two days trying to track down a bug, only to find out it’s not really a bug.

Third time in the last 4 months.

Land.

(still… depression is kinda slowly making me wanna kms)

I tried that once when I was a teenager. Obviously, I failed. Kind of a cruel irony being told that you’re never going to amount to anything and then, as you’re working on your own suicide, you suck so bad at tying knots that you fail at that too.

20+ years later, I’m glad I failed. Depression is a deep dark hole that can feel completely inescapable. It’s not inescapable with the right help. You don’t have to do it alone. You just have to be willing to ask for help.

My life so far has been a hard one. It’s been made much harder by the fact that my stupid little brain is broken and makes it extremely difficult to regulate my own emotions. But there’s glimmers of joy in the middle of all the hardness. I have things now that I never could have imagined on that day in my parents garage.

Things like self love and a sense of self worth, a family of my own, people to whom I matter a great deal, and a wealth of experiences that have taught me a great many valuable lessons. Back then I didn’t think anyone would care if I stopped existing. Now, I know that’s not true. Sometimes I’m still here because I’m enjoying my life. Sometimes because I know there are people who love and need me. Somwtimes it’s because even though I don’t feel like that’s true, I know it is and I’m leaning on my meds until my feelings normalize. For me, that’s enough to keep me here until my time is finally up.

My dad would occasionally tell us stories from his childhood. Stuff like his dad grabbing him by the shirt collar and repeatedly punching him in the face. When I was a kid it was just another story. When I got old enough to actually understand what he was talking about it was like, “God damn. No wonder you’re like this.”

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. It didn’t undo anything he did but it did help me hate him less.

I think I’m really fortunate that my dad somehow realized he completely fucked up and made an effort to repair his relationship with his kids. We’re on good terms now and he’s a way better Grandpa than he was a father. I know a lot of people go through their whole lives only getting to see the worst side of their parents. My dad included.

You are not alone. Your parents do not define your value. Despite their best or worst efforts, they do not ultimately get to decide what kind of person you will be.

It really used to piss me off when the older techs would make me crawl around in nasty crawlspaces while they stood around and smoked cigarettes.

I get not wanting to be there but I’m not not about to leave some poor kid who doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing fumbling around in the dark by himself for half the day.

Sometimes I think I should have stayed in the trades. Then I remember having to tear hundreds of HVAC smoke dampers out of a new building and replace them with fire and smoke dampers because the boss decided he was just going to whatever instead of what the blueprints called for.

Then I’m good for a while.

I’ve seen plenty of back ends that needed to be destroyed.

He’s just mad that John Tyson hasn’t shown up at the White House with a box of steaks yet.

Trinkets and a little ass kissing are all it takes to passify the toddler in chief.

Gotta have that “Mar-a-Lago Face”.

I grew up in a family with a cycle of abuse.

I now understand why my dad was as angry and violent as he was. It honestly made me feel sorry for him and made it easier to forgive him. But in no way did it excuse or justify his actions. What he did was still wrong.