"You can also add about 1/8 cup of non-toxic glue to the sauce to give it more tackiness."

Archive link: https://archive.ph/GtA4Q

The complete destruction of Google Search via forced AI adoption and the carnage it is wreaking on the internet is deeply depressing, but there are bright spots. For example, as the prophecy foretold, we are learning exactly what Google is paying Reddit $60 million annually for. And that is to confidently serve its customers ideas like, to make cheese stick on a pizza, “you can also add about 1/8 cup of non-toxic glue” to pizza sauce, which comes directly from the mind of a Reddit user who calls themselves “Fucksmith” and posted about putting glue on pizza 11 years ago.

A joke that people made when Google and Reddit announced their data sharing agreement was that Google’s AI would become dumber and/or “poisoned” by scraping various Reddit shitposts and would eventually regurgitate them to the internet. (This is the same joke people made about AI scraping Tumblr). Giving people the verbatim wisdom of Fucksmith as a legitimate answer to a basic cooking question shows that Google’s AI is actually being poisoned by random shit people say on the internet.

Because Google is one of the largest companies on Earth and operates with near impunity and because its stock continues to skyrocket behind the exciting news that AI will continue to be shoved into every aspect of all of its products until morale improves, it is looking like the user experience for the foreseeable future will be one where searches are random mishmashes of Reddit shitposts, actual information, and hallucinations. Sundar Pichai will continue to use his own product and say “this is good.”

    • Gigan@lemmy.worldEnglish
      139·
      5 months ago

      Or the cumbox. Or that kid who broke his arms. Or that dog, Colby I think? No wonder AI always wants to exterminate humanity in sci-fi.

      • thejoker954@lemmy.worldEnglish
        5·
        5 months ago

        Great, I hadn’t thought about it in years.

        Now it’s in my head.

        Narwal, narwal,

        sitting in the ocean,

        Causing a commotion, cause they are so awesome.

        Narwal narwal sitting in the ocean

        Pretty big and pretty white, they beat a polar bear in a fight

        • Muscar@discuss.onlineEnglish
          7·
          5 months ago

          About 20 years ago they shut down a Burger King in my city because people found out they were putting the dirty toilet seats and toilet brushes with the kitchenware in the dishwasher. Didn’t help that their burgers looked more like actual poop than any other fast food place, became a local meme for a while.

          • Drusenija@lemmy.worldEnglish
            9·
            5 months ago

            We’ve had a McDonalds getting dragged over the coals this week for using the chip warmers to dry a dirty mop head. The McMop has been doing the meme rounds as a result.

            • m4xie@slrpnk.netEnglish
              1·
              5 months ago

              Oh no, I was just about to leave to go get some for the first time in ages

          • catloaf@lemm.eeEnglish
            41·
            5 months ago

            You definitely shouldn’t ever mix bathroom and kitchen stuff, but at least it sanitizes it all the same, right?

            Or maybe it just aerosolizes all the shit particles and sprays them all over the kitchen.

      • TheFriar@lemm.eeEnglish
        10·
        5 months ago

        wtf world are we even living in

        https://www.walmart.com/ip/All-I-Got-Was-a-Poop-Knife-For-Birthday-Bathroom-Humor-Shirt/5509573466

        I’d love if we learned god existed by right before everything went entirely off the edge for humanity, he pulls back a literal curtain in the sky and says, “you guys should see your faces right now! Hahaha! Classic. Anyway, that was fun. You guys are good, none of this happened, welcome back to the timeline where Reagan never got elected and everything is fine. [chuckles to himself as he retreats back behind the curtain] heh. Poop knife. Hilarious. Oooh, Yahweh, you are just too. Much.” [Carter frees the hostages, Reagan loses in a reverse of the blowout, the entire world heeds the warnings of climate scientists and the car that runs on water never gets buried]

      • catloaf@lemm.eeEnglish
        1·
        5 months ago

        I asked ChatGPT earlier. It will literally tell you exactly what it was about. (Probably because of all the sites talking about it since it happened.)

    • downhomechunk@midwest.socialEnglish
      7·
      5 months ago

      I think my most upvoted reddit comment was on the poop knife post. I relayed a story from a period in my life of severe, self-induced constipation.

      But I’m civilized and used a real tool, a poo-driver.