I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t a brothel for elephants, although I guess this way does make a lot more sense
I was worried it was going to be for people banging elephant hookers and was relieved to learn it was just a building that looked like an elephant.
If it makes you feel better, I bet they didn’t discriminate against elephants. Like if a lonely elephant showed up, they would make him feel welcome.
Yeah, but what if he didn’t want to feel welcome, he wanted to fuck and that was what he had come there for. What then
Yo mamma happens then
Gottem
Then I bet the building had a back entrance.
Naw Jimmy, don’t go in the pantry right now, just wait
JIMMY I SAID NO, DON’T OPEN THAT FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW, OH GOD I TOLD YOU NO NO NO
Nah. They just electrocute elephants in Brooklyn.
How large of an elephant population is required for an elephant brothel to be viable, let alone a huge one? How do elephants even pay?
If you set up a location near a native elephant population where if an elephant brought you like a banana or something and you gave that elephant a handjob… I one hundred percent believe that the elephants would figure out the arrangement and you’d have a successful elephant brothel running in short order.
Okay so there’s a wonderful book about the zoo, I can’t even remember the title and I am not motivated enough to find it. It’s all true though; just this guy’s stories about working in the zoo which are pretty fascinating by and large
So anyway, in it, they need to gather some rhino semen. One of the younger employees comes up with this great idea that we’re gonna make a big fake rhino, and I’ll hide inside it with the sample container, and we’ll stick it in the enclosure and the rhino will fuck it and I’ll be inside and I’ll make sure everything is lined up and we’ll get the little container of rhino cum. Easy peasy, can’t believe you guys didn’t think of this
So his mentor says I don’t think that’s a good idea all things considered
They go back and forth, and finally the mentor says fine. Tell you what. Make up your fake rhino, just don’t get in it, just set up the sample bottle the best way you can rig it up and I know it might be better if you’re in there to make sure everything is aligned but I think we can do this idea of yours without anybody having to be inside the fake rhino (well, anyone human you know, har har).
So he does that, spends a bunch of time on the fake rhino, they stick it in the enclosure. The rhino sees the thing, snorts at it, shakes its head downward a little bit, and charges the fucking thing, knocks it over, and starts stomping on it and just absolutely wrecking it in comprehensive fashion, taking this really methodical approach to breaking and stomping every little bit of the thing for quite some time to make sure it’s completely flattened and destroyed, and then when it’s done walks away to get some food.
The two men just watch the whole operation in total silence the whole time it’s playing out, and then the mentor says to the young guy well you gave it a go, congratulations, but we still need to figure out how to get the rhino cum so please let me know what you come up with for plan B.
Elephants have very sophisticated cultures. They are the only animal apart from humans that mourns their dead using elaborate funeral rituals.
Given that prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, it stands to reason that if elephants have at least one other profession (funeral director), then they must also have prostitutes.
There was also one in Paris as part of the Moulin Rouge Garden Party that was apparently designed with inspiration from the Coney Island one.
Whilst digging, I also learned that the giant structure had been inspired by James V Lafferty’s “Elephantine Colossus”, a seven-story tourist attraction and hotel built on Coney Island in 1885, pictured below.
That explains the one that was in the movie. I was curious about that.
That photo without context would make a badass album cover.
There were a handful of these made at the time and now there is only one remaining, in Margate NJ. I have a tattoo of it and it looks just like that one except without the flames.
I’ve looked out that elephant’s butt.
