My wife says if we invite our friends and their 3 year olds to my childs birthday at a restaurant that its customary to pay for everyone. Is this reasonable?
Yeah
Yes.
Yeah and I think this is why a lot of people do house birthday parties. Or at the park or a local free space (some small towns have these).
It’s expensive to throw a party either way. But it’s much cheaper to have a BBQ at your home.
Now days, most younger adults (in the U.S) can’t afford a home. So this limits their options.
Usually the host pays. If it’s at a sit-down restaurant with a menu (where different food have different prices and people can order sides ans dessertand drinks and stuff) everyone pays for themselves… but surely you’re not having a kids birthday party at a sit-down restaurant? It’s a place that specialises in servicing children and hosting child parties, where you can order a buffet for everyone/the kids, right?
But as long as you communicate expectations clearly on the invite you can do as you like. For example: “There will be buffet style food served for the kids to eat. Accompanying adults can buy food at a café next to the playground.” Or “Entry to the jump yard is X:- per child. Since each family pays for themselves we don’t expect birthday gifts” (make sure your child knows this).
Parties can be made pretty cheap, so I would prefer a type of party that fits your budget rather than create an expensive party where some kids might not affort to join the celebrations. It’s not the location or fancy foods or special activities/entertainment, it’s the people and (for many kids) the theme, that makes it special.
Excellent answer.
And I really want to emphasize Location matters.
At a Chucky Cheese or a McDonald’s, I would be pleasantly surprised if you offered drinks. And any adults that dare can rummage through the leftovers from the kids if they are desperate or masochists. But, if we’re at a regular restaurant, then this is clearly not about the kids, this is an adult gathering with the kids as an excuse. There better be at least some kind of appetizers or light snacks. And they should have communicated that clearly. The amount I expect to be fed is directly proportional to how much I had to dress up. If I can roll up in my PJs, shove my child out the car door, and drive away, then I expect nothing from you. Sweatpants and whatever shirt I pulled off of the top of the pile of clean laundry? Then I expect a place to sit and some water. If I had to put on my good sweats and find a shirt without holes or stains, then we are entering charcuterie territory. But, if I need to put on a jacket and tie, then you can bet that I expect appetizers, a steak (or steak equivalent), and liquor or dessert.
Absolutely. This question is nonsense. You must be an alien.
Yes you have to pay for the party you are hosting… fuck…
I’ve literally never heard of going to a kid’s party and being expected to pay for anything.
Pushing 50, kids’ parties are still a blast. I can hang back with the parents or jump In and give shoulder ride’s and spins and other fun stuff.
you’re still expected to bring a gift. to expect a gift and for them to pay for food as well??? that’s too much
Gifts aren’t checked at the door. You are expected to bring a gift (a lot of people just bring cards, some containing cash or gift cards) but it’s not required.
Parents not being able to afford to throw a good birthday party for their kid is not uncommon, either, even before all this shit went down in the world. Growing up, I was often given the choice between not having a party, or having a postponed party, or a combined party with one of my siblings or cousins.
Now that I’m married to a baker, we offer to bring the cake. That saves the parents some money. Some grandparents are prejudiced against homemade cakes for some reason, and prefer the nasty ass fake frosting of store-bought cakes, so they will offer to buy a sheet cake or a couple dozen cupcakes and sometimes the parents go that way instead. So, there are ways to save money. Of course, if you know a baker, you should not expect them to bake your child a birthday cake (and decorate it!) for free, but if you have a skill they don’t have, you can work out a trade. They make your child a cake, you do work on their car, around their house, whatever. It’s less of a formal transaction and more of “we all help each other.” And when there’s a birthday, my wife’s way of helping is, she bakes a cake. Me, I do tech stuff. I can fix or upgrade computers, I can make a computer block ads and install other helpful software, I can solve a bunch of problems that are minor and small to techs, but your “average Joe” (or Jane) knows nothing about.
If you invite, then yes.
However, customs don’t need to be followed. I would just communicate that you don’t intend to pay so that there is no false expectations.
Kids parties at home are fun because they are cheap but the downside is you have to host and clean. Parties at destinations are more expensive but you don’t have to clean and if the place is exciting enough you don’t have to host either. Pick your poison.
I don’t think it’s reasonable but it’s standard practice yes.
That probably varies based on local culture. But I’ve never lived anywhere that it’s not the norm that unless otherwise stated in the invitation, the host is paying for the party.
These things can get pricey so I think it’s reasonable to say something like “pizza and drinks for the kids”.
Yeah, just have to be up front about it so people know what to expect.
“stop what you are doing for this and spend your own time and money to be near us”
It is pretty unfair to ask so much of them. If they come out to you then you should be a good host and cover their food. If they want to get drinks that’s their expense.
Speaking only for our/our kids’ social circle, It is customary for the party’s host to pay for the guests. For our kids’ parties, we will always pay for all of the kids’ stuff, be it food or admittance or whatever, while accompanying adults are expected to cover themselves.
Maybe your friends and their 3-year-olds aren’t the best choice for your child’s birthday, and a restaurant might not be the best place for your child’s birthday party at all. I just wanted to mention that, since you didn’t say what your child actually wants or how old it is.
Here thats certainly customary, but its not necessarily a situation down “meal” for adults.
I went to a 3 year olds party a few weeks ago. At a kind of cafe that had a playground.
The food laid out was just sausage rolls and little pizzas and things like that.
You could order coffee and juice and that was paid for by the hosts. If you wanted to order a meal you would’ve had to pay for that.
Myself and my 2 kids attended, and we gave the birthday kid a book, and enough money in a card to cover the cost for the 3 of us.
YMMV with the cash gifts, but when our little darlings were 1 we put on a party in a park and made a tidy profit. Lots of work though.
