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My body feels fractionally different, am I dying?
You can start with climate change and work your way to all the other shit stemming from it
Sleep apnea is a good starter. The idea is to look it up when you wake in the night and obsess over the idea that something may be wrong with you.
Instead of specific worries, try focusing only on your negative experiences and memories. Then, you will worry naturally as you go about daily life being constantly tortured by the intrusive thoughts of all those emotionally painful moments and awkward mistakes.
If you stop worrying you might accidentally fart in a meeting at work again! Who needs to pay attention to the road when you could be ruminating on just how much you overshared with that new group of friends you like so much? Sure they were all gracious and supportive, but that one glance from that one guy who probably doesn’t like you probably means you blew it. Did you? Who knows! Better think about some more.
Let the philosophy of anxiety inhabit your soul, and pretty soon you won’t be able to stop it even when you want to! And just remember, that you’re probably tolerated at best, so you deserve this! Best of luck with your new anxious life, and keep those shoulders tight.
Do they like me?
From the US? The Yellowstone super caldera is over due for a massive eruption. From the west coast? “The big one” is also well over due. Enjoy.
From Africa? A lake full of trapped carbon dioxide might be about to flow downhill and suffocate an entire city.
From earth? Just look around, you’ll find enough
Do you think you are good enough to be anxious?
Replay cringe conversations and social blunders in your head from years ago.
Constantly wonder if you put your underwear on backwards this morning.
Question whether you are having a heart attack, or cancer, or serious organ failure, or parkinsons, or MS, or a fatal case of covid, or ebola, or a stroke, or going blind … all the time.
Know that AI will replace you sometime this year and you are too old to get another job of any sort.
That aircraft you hear overhead is not some passenger jet, but bombers about to try shock and awe.
That rumbling isn’t a truck driving by, but a hidden fault line about to unleash the mother of all earthquakes.
Ghosts are real.
If you are a straight male: Am I growing breasts?
If you are female: Am I somehow pregnant?
If you have pets: are they just sleeping or dead?
Are the walls here thick enough to stop bullets?
If you in the US: Will ICE round me up?
If you’re younger, I find worrying about the climate is a good entry into the hobby. It’s a looming threat that affects everyone, definitely a Big Deal, yet it’s a slow burn. Super accessible for novices and experts alike.
Nah, climate worries are competitive ranked anxiety. You can even get a degree in it and a job where you get up in the morning, have climate anxiety for 8 hours and then go home.
That’s true, it had a high skill ceiling, but there are a lot of casual worriers getting into it. Honestly great for the genre.
It’s very flexible because this anxiety will be effective when level 1 and when it will be level 10 it can be super effective and also time consuming which makes even more anxiety
There’s the added bonus that it wouldn’t even be too hard to implement measures to alleviate it, we just don’t because some people simply don’t want to. I think it greatly adds to the tension and desperation.
Did you lock the door?
But did you tho?
Ha ha, nice try. I know I locked it because I checked three times and each time said out loud, “it’s definitely locked”. I might just check one more time though…
Ah, the classics
(wait, did I lock the door?)
Yes, but you left the oven on.
Wait did i bring all i needed for today?
A good starter worry is that you left the stove on.
I remember as a child, I just started wondering what is stopping knives from floating up and shanking me.
Easy, “why would knives even want to shank me though, I’m nothing…”
Someone is watching you.
Is the oven on? Go check
“What if I run out of money and have some kind of emergency?” is a pretty common one
