Goronmon@lemmy.world to Games@lemmy.worldEnglish · 7 months agoCourt rules Gabe Newell must appear in person to testify in Steam anti-trust lawsuitwww.pcgamer.comexternal-linkmessage-square272fedilinkarrow-up1680arrow-down116
arrow-up1664arrow-down1external-linkCourt rules Gabe Newell must appear in person to testify in Steam anti-trust lawsuitwww.pcgamer.comGoronmon@lemmy.world to Games@lemmy.worldEnglish · 7 months agomessage-square272fedilink
minus-squareExcrubulent@slrpnk.netlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up45arrow-down4·7 months agoI mean the simple response from the lawyer is, “Objection, relevance,” and the question gets tossed out. I demand accuracy in my jokes, even if it kills them.
minus-squareKusimulkku@lemm.eelinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up37arrow-down1·edit-27 months ago“Objection, relevance?” “Public interest.” (Though in my joke I meant his lawyer, instead of objecting, would entreat his client to answer the question)
minus-squareExcrubulent@slrpnk.netlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up21arrow-down1·7 months agoAh, I understand now. [MODIFYING JOKE MATRIX TO ACCOMMODATE NEW INFORMATION] “Your honor, I need to fire my lawyer.” “Mr Newell, no competent lawyer in this country would defend you on this point. If you do not answer the question I will hold you in contempt.”
minus-squaresetsneedtofeed@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up12·7 months ago“Bailiff, seize him.”
minus-squareKusimulkku@lemm.eelinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up5·edit-27 months ago*Half Life 3 drops from his pocket* “THAT’S NOT MINE”
minus-squaresetsneedtofeed@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up4·edit-27 months ago“It’s actually all of yours. Check you computers, they all have Half Life 3 installed.” Gabe puts on a top hat, pulls out an umbrella and floats away.
I mean the simple response from the lawyer is, “Objection, relevance,” and the question gets tossed out.
I demand accuracy in my jokes, even if it kills them.
“Objection, relevance?”
“Public interest.”
(Though in my joke I meant his lawyer, instead of objecting, would entreat his client to answer the question)
Ah, I understand now. [MODIFYING JOKE MATRIX TO ACCOMMODATE NEW INFORMATION]
“Your honor, I need to fire my lawyer.”
“Mr Newell, no competent lawyer in this country would defend you on this point. If you do not answer the question I will hold you in contempt.”
“Bailiff, seize him.”
*Half Life 3 drops from his pocket*
“THAT’S NOT MINE”
“It’s actually all of yours. Check you computers, they all have Half Life 3 installed.”
Gabe puts on a top hat, pulls out an umbrella and floats away.
This is how we win
Lmao this is great