As was pointed out in another post this is a bullshit click bait headline. The article makes it clear that shareholder value matters to upper level employees but that as a company they should be looking for other means to motivate everyone else.

I have a bag of Skippy Peanut Butter Balls lodged in my ass. If I move they won’t be there any more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I mean, that’s how jurisdiction works. I bet they’re on different schedules and next week the other side will be mowed and look better. But it’s a funny picture.

Oh man that’s gold…

Embrace getting old and intentionally using out of date slang incorrectly. It’s totally on fleek.

No greater joy than shopping in a heavily religious neighborhood on a Sunday.

The difference is the medical definitions of cause and factor. Lack of breathing will cause death. Obesity from eating too much sugar is a factor. If it was a cause eating too much sugar would CAUSE it to happen every time. It does not.

Judaism is not always about “just don’t drink too much”, heh. When celebrating Purim they’re supposed to drink until they cannot tell the difference between “cursed be Haman” and “blessed be Mordecai”.

Wow, they’re using Artificial Intelligence to do the same thing predictive analytics has been doing for over 50 years, what a time to be alive!

5 out of 7 statistics are made up on the spot.

I know it will get a lot of laughs now, but I unironically love the final song.

In this scene he’s in prison on Asgard. Can you imagine what he’s done just for a cup of Asgardian Battle Juice or whatever they call it?

I heard they were roommates.

“Careful, that’s not a load bearing structure!” CRUNCH “It is now.”

Now that’s a deep cut.

Hear me out, what if we added racing stripes to the straw?

It sounds risky, you may find yourself up… Chocolate Creek without a popsicle stick.

OK while that would be a better idea the thought that no one would notice is laughable. We have detailed pregnancy rate records going back 75 years, an immediate 30% change would definitely raise a lot of red flags.

True, I was just saying the name.

Screw you Microsoft, I switched to Paint.net forever ago and I’ll be long dead in the cold, cold grave before I recognize Missourah, I mean switch back to Paint.