That’s the kind of spite-filled journey I can absolutely get behind

Bollocks, well played.

Unless you’re a Mormon, then this is lies

Er, what? If I look at the clock and see it’s 0955 I know exactly that it’s 35 minutes. Same for every other example you give. If it’s 1252, it’s so easy to add 8 minutes then add whatever it is more. And you can do that for any time. Say 1017. “Oh no!” Never fear, the just add it to the time wangs are here: +13 to 30 and woah! Easy, foolproof and actually intuitive

Good grief, that might be the worst customer service job I’ve ever heard of. I’ve worked Sainsbury’s ‘head office’ - which was just the outsourced customer service centre for people who phone store chains to complain about cucumbers - and that was bad enough, but at least I got some good stories out of it (“My watermelon has exploded and I’m afraid of the second one. Can a man come round and take it away?” First ever call).

You were getting Mail readers who are already a self-selecting group of thick cunts and you were getting the worst of them. Jesus Christ, that must have been rough. So, so happy for you that you’re out of that, I can’t imagine what that would do to someone’s mental health!

No worries man! Yeah, they’re fantastic

You might be interested in subvertising which actively works to reclaim the spaces invaded by advertising.

One could, in theory, download the posters and put them up over the relentlessly shite, unasked for adverts that permeate every part of your city. One could even buy a key which opens certain advert spaces - such as bus stops - and replace them with any image of your choosing. Obviously this is illegal and no one would ever do this, however, I assume wearing a hi-vis vest and beanie hat would work surprisingly well when not doing this illicit activity. Also, complain about the hourly rates if questioned and you’ll absolutely be left alone.

Okay, if we’re getting serious about it, I’m not sure I agree cruelty scales up alongside intelligence. It’s an interesting take, but, as you say, it’s an entirely human concept which doesn’t really exist outside of our own conceived morality and can’t be applied to beings which aren’t capable of understanding it.

Put it this way: a cat batting a mouse around isn’t considering its actions cruel or even considering its actions in a wider context at all. A human doing the same would be doing both. However, by that logic, animals aren’t capable of any other abstract thought such as compassion, empathy and altruism. We are. It might be the case that everything abstract scales up with intelligence which, yes, leads to concepts such as ‘cruelty’ but also all the other amazing shit humans are capable of.

Sorry man, but I can’t stop laughing at you calling an entire animal species ‘evil’. Not only that, but ‘notoriously evil’. Like there’s a chapter in the Bible devoted to the tale of a dolphin riding Jesus up his dead arsehole.

Yeah, you weren’t joking . Which is probably for the best given the amount of people here who have no idea what a joke is.