Meaning one could hypothetically spray a tomato with dioxins up to 5% of its body weight and it would still qualify as organic.

And slip some cash over to the FDA when one of their interns asks too many questions.

Russian army: Bombs and kidnaps children

Government: Special military exercise, totally justified.

Trans people: Exist

Government: How horrible! Won’t anyone think of the children?

And then they just organize on Facebook or WhatsApp instead. Monopoly 101 failed.

Now you’ve convinced me! I really ought to have been the bigger man when my mom called me in the middle of the night to tell me that Trump’s a martyr like Jesus and that the Democrats are performing demonic baby-eating rituals inside underground tunnels, and just let her keep screaming about me being a brainwashed woke communist because we just have little differences and we all need to get along.

Haha, nope. I want scorched earth on every one of those conspiracy nut fuckers holding right-wing parties around the balls, since they went after my family with their brainrot. I don’t give a shit that a handful of people exist who don’t explicitly support Jewish Space Laser Marge or Venmo Bribes Clarence, because y’all still vote lock step to keep these crazy loons around because Roe v. Wade is worth killing for $300 extra on next year’s tax return.

Of course not, helping priests climb to heaven is the altar boy’s job.

An asshole who primarily courts right-wingers an inch to the left of Neo-Nazis by making them feel logical and superior for denying basic facts about reality, while the mask-off Neo-Nazis repeatedly send death threats to his family because they’re culturally Jewish.

I don’t pity him. He dug his hole by choice, and it is a very comfy hole in upper-class Los Angeles where he won’t experience the consequences of societal collapse that he encourages poorer right-wingers to spread around. Tough for his kids, I’d imagine, since they’ll be growing up in a world with all those oven-fanatic redcaps crawling out of the woodwork that their dad turned a blind eye to for clout.

The one on the upper right-hand corner of the recommended watch sidebar always manages to sneak past my multiple adblockers. I’m tired of having my eyes seared by massive anime tiddies (Queen’s Blade ads) just because I sometimes watch anime and the monkeys working in the algorithm machine greenlit softcore pornography to be plastered all over their platform. But I sure as shit ain’t paying them $170 a year to get those idiots to stop.

They rennovated it too. How much could a starter home cost, $1.5 million lump sum?

I’d be lucky to dream about having the funds to get a mortgage 1 home 15 years from now. All I want is a place I can live in and call my own for 40-odd years until I kick the bucket, then my future nephews and nieces can have a catfight over how to carve it up for coin assuming global warming hasn’t decisively fucked everyone over by then.

Of course I wouldn’t be able to comprehend the mindset of affluenza-huffers who can’t live without cutting out the biggest slice of pie even if it means breaking the oven and starving out everyone else.

Limited subscriptions can go to hell as well. Sure, I could pay $50/yr for a Switch Online + Expansion Pack (not featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series) so I can temporarily play GBA games and lose access to them forever when the service is eventually discontinued… or I could just emulate them on my smartphone/jailbroken consoles for free.

Hand sanitizer is ~120 proof alcohol. (Not a recommendation to drink it, since it’s usually spiked with bad-tasting additives to keep people from doing just that. Some commercial hand sanitizers swap out ethanol for isopropyl alcohol, i.e. rubbing alcohol, which is more toxic when ingested.)

I’m a chemist, we’re basically glued to our jeans regardless of gender. Yes, summer is hell for us.

The distinction between anti-Semitism and anti-Israeli nationalism needs to be clarified more often.

I respect Jewish people’s right to peacefully practice their religion. (Though I disagree with all organized religions for their seemingly intrinsic capacity for inflicting harm by providing a haven for opportunistic demagogues and predators). I do not respect the Israeli military and police blowing up and beating Palestinian children to death, or ordinary people who say that violence is neceasary because they want more land.

There’s plenty of crazy people who think the other way, calling the religion unacceptable but embracing the nationalists who make human piñatas.

Bonus points for games that let you make cinematic moments yourself.

Monster Hunter World (A Greatsword True Charged Slash into a head break or tail sever feels ridiculously good to land)

Rogue-lites (I’ve mostly ran Hades, but I’ve seen a lot of great things about Dead Cells and Risk of Rain 2)

Dragalia Lost (May it rest in sweet sassy molassy, and may Silent Hope bring some of that ARPG goodness back)

Where are y’all finding people to reply to you that many times

Evernote (functional note-taking app), ReVanced (Youtube ads are a blight on civilization), My Boy! (Fire Emblem GBA series are my comfort games which get me through my bus commute. I would buy them on actual hardware if Nintendo didn’t make it such an obtuse PITA with limited-time subscriptions to induce artificial scarcity.)

I got banned off /r/politics because of an article about a Fox News reporter who was caught lying about the election and inciting viewers to commit revolution (i.e. treason and assassination). I commented that he should stuff it up his ass, and got kicked for “death threats.”

Mod was probably a powertripping wingnut masquerading as an independent. “Centrists” who coddle and defend the fascists are no less fascist themselves, and if that hurts their feelings then I have some nice horse paste for them to cry into.

Commies speedrun civilization suicide because the government hoards all the money and let the workers starve.

Nazis drag out the process because capitalism incentivizes work (until it doesn’t, e.g. LSC) and maximizing suffering for outgroups gets them off, but eventually their anti-intellectual groupthink hits critical mass and they unalive themselves in some colossally stupid fashion while claiming germs aren’t real and that they totally didn’t get scammed out of their life savings because Lord Donald told them to.

Former Speaker of the House, ® Paul Ryan’s favorite band

(He didn’t understand that he was a cog in the machine they were raging against)

Satan got demoted from nepo baby to HR manager.

“Surely there’s a mistake, I shouldn’t be here!”

“Wow, how original, Arnaud, it’s only the two millionth time I’ve heard that line today. Lemme pull up your file… ah yes, ‘God will know his own,’ what a convenient excuse for burning a city to the ground and executing 20,000 unarmed civilians. Dad damn it, Catholic hypocrites are the worst. Bet you diddled some kids while you were at it too, you sick fuck.”