Oh please do the 50 year mortgage!

Please! Oh pretty please!

The 50 year mortgage is begging for some laughs.

We should go to college for free if we choose to and also be able to afford a house regardless of our employment type I agree.

Reasons for going to college…

Our president sucks balls in every way possible and you would like to be president and do good via the knowledge gained.

You would like to design spacecraft.

You would like to give others brain surgeries with successful outcomes.

Your bus in never on time and you would like to fix that or have a say in the reasons why a bus might be late.

You like cheese and would like to discover new types of cheese via biology and chemistry. Oh shit, you accidentally invented antigravity, there goes your cheese.

Use what you got!.. You got a dull kitchen knife? Sure you can make a kitchen cabinet. Here’s how you do it…get the dried marine plywood from your walk-in wood dryer. Once you cut all the parts on the bandsaw and planed them on your walk-in planer, then simply feel for splinters. Any splinters can easily be dealt with using your dull kitchen knife. You can also use old used up sandpaper. Once you sprayed it, just put it in your UV curing room with automated venting. It will be ready for the installation crew by tomorrow.

…now emulsify the yack milk and the African camel ear bits using the kitchen air premium deluxe 3kw solar powered table top heavy duty roller mill. Be sure to only use the titanium cored rollers with proper Rhenium coated Molly gold platinum surface finish with the Wineth Palthro pronounced (gwyneth paltrow) titie and vagina print pattern.

Bikini bottom slicing!

I’m getting the error “post only 75% muddy” Can you increase the muddy quantity? Additionally 25 more friendly cheerful style points?

80 year olds are rare in the workforce. That sounds like homeless people.

Does chocolate contain cat parts?

Eat no meat products. You can call it vegan but I feel great.

Tell that to the UPS pilots and crew member who pased away fighting their plane to the last second.

Good for him! I didn’t know he was also gay!

Thank you! I didn’t even try.

I’m a part AI, part clumsily cropped meme type of guy who adds extra memosity:

Okay, but the man has a point. Cleaning semen hair is not trivial.

Stop buying that shit!

You know what I just discovered? My phone has a laser right next to the camera and it is on all the time.

If you have an automatic shade welding helmet, all you gotta do is put it on and look at your phone. The shader will be blinking like at 60Hz going completely berserk and without doing a thing.

Your phone is basically a laser mapping system just measuring your house and sending Google the data.

Interesting. Do I have to double shutdown?

So I can keep my peanuts?

It’s a list of totally metrosexual stuff:

Its only for gay people. Metrosexuals like myself. LOL.

We’re just family.