Not what you’re asking for, but it’s the same core principle as irony poisoning, I think. And, I know that shit is real, because it’s happened to me. It was kind of a core life lesson to me to watch what I consume.

It sounds like you actively enjoy your current gender identity. Most people who go on to change theirs don’t actively enjoy what it used to be, at best they generally just don’t feel connected to it. This was the case for me; I never felt manly, or enjoyed anything about being male. It didn’t bother me, but I never really connected to it.

Ultimately, the only thing required for you to be trans is that you decide you want to be; there isn’t some magic checklist of signs or requirements that if you meet, you’re trans. If you think you might be happier in life with a fem gender identity, it’s up to you whether or not to act on it.

Isn’t what we call a marathon just the last short leg of his journey, and he ran like 100-150 miles?

I was hoping we left the pedantry about the wetness of water behind on reddit

I mean, on the bright side, only two more years until I can kill myself!

That was a crossover promotion with archer, a show about essentially a giant dickwad james bond, voiced by the same guy who voices bob

Same, just like when reddit killed 3rd party apps

Afaik, your body doesn’t feel a lack of oxygen, it feels the buildup of carbon dioxide, so any inert gas should do the trick. That said, I’ve avoided doing research into it for obvious reasons. Also, if someone interrupts me, then at least there’s some comic relief to lighten the mood when I start apologizing and crying in a chipmunk voice

Yeah, if I ever end up going through with it I’m gonna rig a gas mask to a helium tank with a one way outflow valve of some sort on the mask. Should be quick and easy, and no mess for anyone to clean up and no risk of hurting someone else like there is with firearms. I’m careful to not look into sources for those items or think or plan about how I’d put it all together, I do my best to keep myself safe. Never been able to stop the suicidal ideation though, so naturally I’ve thought a lot about different methods.

Make 2014 the guy that 2024 remembers, thinking about the depressed 2024 guy thinking about the happy 2014 guy, and that’s me. I knew I was in probably the best part of my life while it was happening and enjoyed it while I could. Not that I didn’t have suicidal thoughts then too but it was definitely the most fun. More 2015-16 though.

I think ants alone could pretty much wipe out humanity tbh. If they targeted the food supply chain and power grid, I’m not sure how much we could really do about it.

There’s a bottle and can deposit system in some states! You pay an extra 5c per beverage and get 5c back by returning the empty container. Only in like 5 states, but it works well. They don’t get reused, just recycled, but I think that’s pretty much the only way plastic bottles get recycled here, as most recycling is extremely contaminated.

Sorry not disagreeing with you about beverage container material choices! I just like chiming in with more info because I really enjoyed those packaging science classes I took. If I could live my life over again I’d do that instead of software tbh. Glass containers being reused instead of recycled is the dream, imo, but in the current US if you replaced all plastic beverage containers with aluminum ones that would still be a massive win. Transportation energy costs should only improve, so as time goes on that will matter less and less in the equation, but you can also achieve denser packing easier with aluminum packaging than glass. Glass containers don’t take non-cylindrical shapes as easily, or rather, cylindrical containers are far easier, more reliable to produce, and in general a lot more durable. If you swapped from plastic bottles to hexagonal aluminum ones, where you can achieve near perfect packing efficiency, that would be amazing. Far more containers per load, a roughly equivalent weight per container, made from a material that’s ACTUALLY recyclable, and (this I don’t actually know but I believe to be true) more easily automatically sorted out from contaminated recycling, that also has a financial incentive built into it to be recycled? That would be really really really good. Ultimately glass is better, the reusability is REALLY nice and glass also recycles incredibly well, and isn’t harmful as a pollutant, and also doesn’t require a questionably toxic (I believe BPA is an endocrine disruptor, but this isn’t something I know for sure) plastic lining? Oooooo yeah. That’s where it is.

Also just a fun fact, blue glass is like incredibly contaminating color wise, it only takes a tiny bit of blue glass to color a load of clear glass it’s being added to blue! Not a problem with the material, just cool.

Another fun fact, ever wondered why bottles have the bumps running around the edge on the bottom? It’s because the containers warp subtly as they cool, and with a purely circular base, this would give you an ever so slight saddle shape and it wouldn’t sit stably. With the bumps, there’s always at least 3 points of contact, so it’s stable!

Ok…

I can’t deal with the guilt of burdening someone who cares about me with knowledge of how much I want to not exist. I know exactly how that burden of anxiety and worry feels and I can’t stand saddling someone I know and care about with it. It doesn’t matter whether they want me to or not, I just can’t deal with it. They’ll all want to help and they can’t and they’ll feel terrible they can’t help and I can’t put them in that place.

If I tell someone about suicidal ideation, confide in them, then if I ever do end up killikg myself it would wreck them that they couldn’t or didn’t do anything to help. Or at least, I would in their position. Fuck.

Aluminum also takes way less energy and is much cheaper to recycle than to produce new! I think roughly around 2/3rds of all aluminum ever produced is still in use because of that. Don’t remember the exact figure, just remember it from my material science electives from college. Aluminum beverage containers usually have BPA liners, which is far from ideal, but as a material in general, it’s pretty nice

Yeah here in the US no containers get reused as is, due to corporate lobbying from pre 1990. Aluminum also is less energy intensive to transport since containers weigh less! Both are infinitely preferable to plastic containers.

There is nothing better on this earth than a cat that enjoys tummy rubbins. My roomates cat loved them, and I would take like an hour long break from working on my senior project to destress and rub her tummy and scritch her chin. Her purrs weren’t usually audible, but you’d feel her romble and she’d be kneading away. She’s still alive and well, just me and her person graduated and went our seperate ways. I miss her a lot tbh. I’ll never forget hearing a funny noise, turning around, and seeing her lapping ranch dressing out of a container my roomate left out. She loves anything salty or greasy, but wouldn’t try to eat your food, just maybe lick it if you left it unattended. She did love to sniff my dinner though.

Start dripping

Go through your body from the head down, tensing each muscle for a few seconds and then letting it relax, one at a time. Then, work really hard at really envisioning somewhere, seeing all the detail in your mind’s eye. Focus on it. Imagine feeling the physical sensations of being there. The gentle sway of a hammock, the warmth of the sun radiating down on your face. Giving your mind something to focus on lets it stop being so active, and lets it relax. It’s like having the tv on late at night putting you to sleep.

With the physical relaxation from the tensing and loosening and the mental relaxation, sleep should come much easier. It does take practice though.

A string of plastic, not a hunk =D

Thanks for the posts cheif!