When I was pretty young my dad taught me how to recognize when I was dreaming and how to use that knowledge to affect my dreams. I didn’t really care at the time, he was way into it though.
After he died, it was really hard for me when he visited, until I remembered what he’d taught me. When I finally told him he was dead during one of his visits he just said “I know” and it completely changed the dynamic of his visits. That was many years ago, I’m almost as old as he was when he passed. Now, when he visits we just hang out and enjoy each others company. I get to tell him about his grandchildren he never got meet and he gives me advice or at least listens to my struggles. I don’t know if the dream version of him is real or not (I choose to believe it is), but it doesn’t matter. Dad dreams went from being my worst dreams to my absolutely best dreams.
I’m sorry if you lost someone, and I’m sorry if it hurts. Please know that some day you may come to cherish seeing then in your dreams.
Ya, it took me a few years after he died before I realized I could somewhat affect my dreams. After rereading what I wrote, I’m kinda wondering if me telling him he was dead was actually more for me, in accepting that he was actually dead.
When it comes to lucid dreaming, I am by no means an expert. In my own dreams I can mostly just realize that I’m dreaming, which comes in handy when it comes to bailing out of nightmares, or extending dreams that I’m enjoying. I’ve definitely lost a step with age, I feel like I used to have more control.