alternative post title: how can I grow a thicker skin, so I simply stop caring what my coworkers think or say?

I’m still looking for a drama free workplace and I don’t understand why people seem to enjoy creating chaos out of nowhere

Working in several industries, I’ve met:

  • white Christian nationalist: too many Arabs and Mexicans in our country, somebody should send them all back to where they belong, and I’m very Christian. This was 5 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Why even tell this to a coworker?

  • Married woman complaining to me about how her husband isn’t so affectionate nowadays: 2 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Who does that? Shouldn’t you tell this to somebody you trust, like a friend and not a stranger you met 2 minutes ago?

  • An anti vaxxer trying to convert me to his cause, or however you want to call it.

  • And just today: ‘it’s good that Trump was shot’ Why would a sane person blurt that out in the middle of our pause for everyone to hear you? Why do you need to antagonize your coworkers? This was a manager btw.

I have waaaaay more examples, but I’ll keep it simple.

I just want to work and go home. Completely drama free. I don’t want to care what coworkers think, but apparently I’m very thin skinned and I’m easy to be triggered. Each of the examples I wrote triggered me: I wanted to yell ‘fck off, you piece of sht, I don’t give a f*ck what you think, leave me alone’, or something like that. But I need the job.

My conundrum: If this happens at every workplace, wouldn’t it make more sense to stay with the devil you know?

Unless, of course, you’ve job hopped till you found a drama free workplace… please tell me how you did it.

I want to be the old guy who doesn’t give a f*ck about stuff like this, yet it still triggers me.

  • best_username_ever@sh.itjust.works
    2·
    4 months ago

    I’ve been working for almost 10 companies in 20 years, and I have only found 2 drama free workplaces so far. It’s random and I don’t think there are signs that could show you whether a job is good or bad.

    Most HR people are happy when they hire you but it usually means nothing, sorry.

    Last but not least, drama free could also mean “we’re gonna fire everybody in a few months,” which makes the choices more difficult to make.

    • vestmoria@linux.communityOPEnglish
      1·
      4 months ago

      do you have any advice for me, now that I’m applying and might work elsewhere? Is there anything I could ask during interviewing to indicate I loathe drama, people full of themselves talking politics or conspiracies or openly discussing how vaginas look like?

      • best_username_ever@sh.itjust.works
        1·
        4 months ago

        Maybe try to detect or feel if the person in front of you is really a nice person or if he’s faking it.

        The last HR guy I met was so nice to me and enthusiastic that it was really suspicious. I had met real psychopaths before and I was careful. But in the end, he really wanted to take care of the coworkers, and it took me one whole month to understand this.