WhatsApp notifications in the middle of the night were the final straw. I switched those off – and every other alert – and it helped my wellbeing, sleep and parenting
iOS also has a nice feature where if you get called by the same number twice in a short period of time it will let the second call through.
The pessimist in me knows it’s just a matter of time until robo callers figure that one out and start double calling, but it is nice peace of mind for now.
Please don’t tell anyone I know about this feature.
Here’s how my next family gathering would go if I were in the movie Liar Liar:
“Son! We never hear from you anymore! It’s so hard to get ahold of you these days!”
“Yeaaaaah…”
“Everytime I call, there’s never any answer, and your mailbox is full.”
“Yeah. I’ve intentionally kept my voicemailbox full for the past 3 years. Then I turn the ringer to silent, as it has been for 10 years”
“Why?”
“Well, I love all of you, but it is EXAUSTING to talk to most of you for more than 30 minutes, and not very often. If you notice, at Christmas, and other holidays, I tend to flutter. I don’t want to spend any more than 15 minutes with any one of you, so when you start building up your bs, I flutter to the next person, and the cycle renews. Look, I know my niece is only 13, but she better start dating by 15, and have a kid by 18. Look, BEST case scenario, I don’t get to play retro video games with a kid seeing them for the first time for AT LEAST 8-9 years. And that’s assuming my niece grows up waaaaaaay faster than I expect her to. She may not have a kid until she’s 30! I’m not going to be the cool uncle in his late 40s, spending time with the kid, so he feels included…I would be the weird uncle in his late 60s, trying to show his great nephew novelty video games from 80 years prior. And at that point I lose my buffer! Ok, I’m sorry. I would absolutely prefer to play video games with a kid I talk to once a year, and show him games of the past, than have to go have “grown up conversations”. Which roughly translated means hearing my boomer mom get progressively more openly racist, which historically was NEVER the case, and my boomer dad become increasively more peaceful, and accepting of others, and less racist…which is even MORE surprising! Because before Obama, he would not hesitate to throw the n-word around casually. So basically I don’t understand life right now. Then you got my sister, who I feel I should feel guilty for thinking she’s a bad person…but I don’t. She belittles anyone, even those close to her. She loves to argue and make those around her feel bad. Then there’s my other sister who used to be this social animal party drinker when she was in her 20s, and now in her 50s she loves judging people, and gossiping about the neighbors or whoever. Again, historically unlike her. Then there’s my brother in law, who I feel like is the reason my sister turned from free spirit to mean judgy type. And then there’s his parents, who aren’t bad people at all. His parents are salt of the earth people. They’re just really really…boring in every way. Finally there’s my niece. She’s 13, so she’s in that self awkward phase where she doesn’t talk to anyone and somehow gets away with it. Maaaaaan, just a few years ago she was my buffer! I played untitled goose game with her, pokemon with her, some driving game…now she stays in her room and avoids everybody! Lucky…”
And then everybody would look at me and stare. Everybodys feelings are hurt. So instead I just say
“Heh, yeah. I get a lot of telemarketers these days”
I swear to god, their dog better live like 30 years. She LOVES me everytime I come over. And she gets super excited and energetic. So I’m just like “I’ll Maisey for a walk!” And my sister is like “It’s 10 degrees, and blizzarding out there!” And I’m like “So does she have little doggy boots, and maybe like a sweater with overlaying wind breaker…orrrrr…what are we doing? Is this like a pulling her on a sled situation?” And she’d say “No there’s no doggy boots or sweaters, or sleds!” And I say “Well, I mean that’s kind of cruel though, don’t you think? To take her out in this without protection from the elements?” And she says “I WASN’T GOING TO TAKE HER OUT AT ALL!!!” and I just say “Woooowwwwwwww! Hear that Maisey? I’m the only one who loves you enough to take you for a walk. C’mon, we get the old wagon, and at the very least a blacket!”
And then leave the house for like…45 minutes to an hour.
Look, I love my family. I just don’t have the social stamina to interact with them.
Edit: Oh, and if you’ve never seen Liar Liar, the concept is this guy (jim carry) has a spell put on him where he can’t physically lie. So instead he just blurts out the cold hard truth. Go watch it. It’s good.
Thanks for sharing, it really did feel like a sketch out of the movie.
I guess I would also focus on the dog and the niece when they are more approachable and not as combative and so many people in your family are changing quite profoundly
Theres a “do not disturb at night” option on all modern phones nowadays for people who dont want to become unreachable
And you can configure certain apps or contacts to be excluded, at least on Android. I assume iOS can do the same.
True, one of the first thing I did on my phone, set to DnD from 22h to 7h,except for phone calls and SMS from known contacts.
I changed mine to all calls after a friend called 2am from a cell and I didn’t get it. Still only certain texts though
Should have it set to repeated calls from any number ring through.
iOS also has a nice feature where if you get called by the same number twice in a short period of time it will let the second call through.
The pessimist in me knows it’s just a matter of time until robo callers figure that one out and start double calling, but it is nice peace of mind for now.
Samsung galaxy has the same feature (at least on the S25, I don’t recall if I had it on the S10)
A lot of them already do call twice in a row, thanks apple.
Please don’t tell anyone I know about this feature.
Here’s how my next family gathering would go if I were in the movie Liar Liar:
And then everybody would look at me and stare. Everybodys feelings are hurt. So instead I just say
I swear to god, their dog better live like 30 years. She LOVES me everytime I come over. And she gets super excited and energetic. So I’m just like “I’ll Maisey for a walk!” And my sister is like “It’s 10 degrees, and blizzarding out there!” And I’m like “So does she have little doggy boots, and maybe like a sweater with overlaying wind breaker…orrrrr…what are we doing? Is this like a pulling her on a sled situation?” And she’d say “No there’s no doggy boots or sweaters, or sleds!” And I say “Well, I mean that’s kind of cruel though, don’t you think? To take her out in this without protection from the elements?” And she says “I WASN’T GOING TO TAKE HER OUT AT ALL!!!” and I just say “Woooowwwwwwww! Hear that Maisey? I’m the only one who loves you enough to take you for a walk. C’mon, we get the old wagon, and at the very least a blacket!”
And then leave the house for like…45 minutes to an hour.
Look, I love my family. I just don’t have the social stamina to interact with them.
Edit: Oh, and if you’ve never seen Liar Liar, the concept is this guy (jim carry) has a spell put on him where he can’t physically lie. So instead he just blurts out the cold hard truth. Go watch it. It’s good.
Thanks for sharing, it really did feel like a sketch out of the movie.
I guess I would also focus on the dog and the niece when they are more approachable and not as combative and so many people in your family are changing quite profoundly
I hope you have a lovely day without phone calls!