Clarification: What definition of incel are you using? Are you strictly using the definition as “One who can not find a partner despite wanting to” or are you using a different definition

If it’s strictly that definition there isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s when someone in that position starts blaming the other parties for their position that makes it become an issue. I.E Racism, sexism, etc

In my opinion, incels are in a similar boat to furries, just being that designation doesn’t make it wrong, however the actions you do while in that designation do. As a result, the designation as a whole has a black mark.

It’s completely fair to hate that you can’t find an SO and blame yourself, it isn’t fair to hate that you can’t find an SO and to blame others for it. The only time I would argue the counterpart is fair is if someone is actually smearing your image, but that isn’t what is happening with the incel stereotype. The incel stereotype is blaming others for liking other characteristics (usually ones that you don’t have [and yes that can include self describing yourself as an incel]), which is entitled/extremely selfish as a trait.

However if your definition is the stereotype definition of incel, and you can’t see whats wrong with the above… I don’t think anything anyone can say here is going to be able to change anything.