April Fool’s Day
I’ve been spending all afternoon watching Michael McIntyre clips on Youtube. I dunno how I didn’t know about him before. Some of the jokes around domestic life and kids are a bit flat but he’s absolutely brilliant with the observational humour otherwise.
And here’s the rain now.
Thank fuck, I was wondering whether we would get blueballed like the last time. I am truly enjoying the sound of soaking outside. Whether I’ll like it so much tomorrow morning is another question.
APRIL FOOLS
This reminds me of a work colleague, who had his passport issued on 1st April some years ago. Every single time he had to use it, it was questioned … He ended up obtaining a letter from Immigration confirming that the passport was the real deal. You’d think someone would have anticipated this and held up the application for one day, but nooooo.
I don’t really understand why. April 1st is a date just like all the others, and if your passport was fake, you would probably not be putting April fools day on it. I’d only be suspicious of the date if it was a public holiday
Help my Lemmy just became Reddit!
spoiler spoiler
Just ignore the fact I only have like 2 jokes about reddit, and that I don’t know how to inspect element pictures around
God this was such a bad joke. I was only gonna change one thing, then I spent 20 minutes changing many things
ha ha
I just got reported on another site for telling someone they should never go full retard …lol
Pinch and a punch for the first of the month. No returns.
I have no idea what it is but I can hear a constant low rumbling coming from somewhere. It’s weirdly comforting because I used to live somewhere that had a similar sound and it reminds me of that.
Also I’m not looking forward to the internet being very annoying for a day. Grumble grumble
Make it 2 days. You’ll get pranked by us normal people, and then the yanks and assorted people on the other side of the date line will get in on it tomorrow
Breakfast 💿📷📼☎️📺🎥📻🕰️⏳💡🕯️💵💎⚖️🪜🧰🪛🔧🔨⛏️🪚🔩⚙️🪤🧱⛓️🧲🔫💣🔪🛡️⚰️🪦🔮🧿💈🔭🔬🕳️🩻🩺💊🩸💉🧬🧫🧪🧹🧻🚽🚿🧼🪥🪒🧽🪣🧴🛎️🗝️🚪🪑🛋️🛏️🧸🖼️🪞🪟🛒🎈✉️
A car jack and some magnesium please chef
🗜💎
Wonderful! Now I can change a tyre and fix my aching muscles
It’s a bit late but I wouldn’t mind some gene splicing to get ahead in life thanks.
🧬💉
Can we arrange for a time hack so that Easter remains over, but we don’t have to go back to work tomorrow? The lead up to Easter isn’t particularly relaxing so it feels like today is only a single day off.
Take it up with @useless_modern_god@aussie.zone. I am but a humble servant.
A magnet, a key and a stethoscope please.
🧲🗝️🩺
Um, doesn’t seem that there’s anything suitably mineral rich, so could I have a pill with plenty of minerals please.
💊💎
I’ll have a barber shop thingy pls
💈
Thanks, I’ve always wanted to try one of those
crunchy
Unpopular opinion: crunchy is better
A syringe full of keys and screwdrivers please
🗝️🗝️🗝️🪛🪛🪛🪛
💉
A chemically enhanced bear in the lavatory. Hmmmmm
🧫🧪🧸🚽
Just like The Laird 😺
sky ugly
Rude
Fr
The body of Jesus has been found. He remains dead. Easter is cancelled. Today is no longer a public holiday. Off to work and school.
Too bad because I ate the eggs already.
One of those eggs would have hatched to become Jesus 2.0. You’ve doomed us all.
At my age? That would be a miracle.
So was Mary’s sister when she got pregnant with John
Hmm… looking at the date today I’d say you’re facon
Incredible effort by bacon to go as far as renaming themselves!
And here I am going ‘who is Tofu?’ My brain is fried.
You wake up expecting bacon but you end up with tofu 👎
What a let down!
i am tofu
No you’re natto
I think Melbcat’s still having some trouble with her ears. They’ve got a bit of a smell to them and she’s still growing potatoes in there. I didn’t do the twice daily follow up ear washes because she was stressed out from so much handling and I was physically wrecked. But I may have to do that now and potentially start the ear drops again.
Also I shrink wrapped my yarn stash in a space saver bag but despite double checking the seal the bag has repeatedly reinflated itself.
If there was anybody still trying to be optimistic and hold out hope that any of this paper crap that [major] companies do “for a sustainable future” is anything but a marketing ploy, on the page for the paper food wrapping stuff, you have to enter your age, and if you’re under a certain age, you’re literally refused access to the website.
Why? Because the entire thing is just a marketing stunt, and there’s rules about marketing things to young children.
As much as they make it sound like it’s their decision and their marketing code, it is genuinely a thin
Woo hoo. The kid’s gone for a few days. Time to partay with a latte. 🎉
I’m at a party. It’s been almost a decade maybe since I’ve been to one and it feels nice but it takes some getting used to.
the rain gods blessed me with 46 drops of holy water