(original art by Herta Burbe)
The people on the couch don’t exist. It’s an unrealistic expectation nobody actually has.
Edit: the unrealistic part is that they have so few corners to fit and they fit perfectly. It’s more complicated than that.
I don’t think that’s entirely true, but even if it is, they could be accurately interpreted as one’s expectation of oneself.
Not a healthy expectation, but a real one.
I don’t quite agree. Yes, it’s not as pronounced as it is displayed here, but there’s still definitely a difference in statistical compatibility amount. If you have a very unusual life situation, with a non-neurotypical mental structure, the amount of compatible partners gets smaller and smaller compared to people that have a more “common” (specifically not using the word normal here) setup going.
LGBTQ+ and non standard life situation gets ya basically zero partners, too. The dating pool for MLM is already tiny compared to cishet dating. Add into that being a caregiver for your parents and it’s basically zero dudes that are willing to even consider you as a partner. :/ But I ain’t throwing mama under the bus (or from the train) for no dick. Lol
While I have argued tor this comic being true/realistic, I vehemently reject a possible conclusion of dating pessimism based on it. I wholeheartedly believe that it’s worthwhile to try to find compatible people in any situation and no matter what kind of person you are.
I think being gay and being a caregiver for your parents is a combination that doesn’t reduce your dating pool too much :)
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting any incel shit or anything. I just mean outside of major cities, MLM dating pools are tiny. It is reasonably possibly in many areas to personally know every single out queer person on a first name basis. So a much smaller dating pool than that of cishet daters.
The caregiving aspect of it also complicates things. I don’t mean “I’m a caregiver so no one loves me!” Or anything like that. It’s more “I’m a caregiver, and it’s unreasonable to expect others to work or even be able to work around my schedule.” I can’t leave the house for more than two hours at a time, I can’t have someone stay over, and I can’t stay over at theirs. Dates are limited to activities that can be done within an hour within half an hours drive, and I have to vet their non-covidness beforehand. My life just isn’t conducive to dating/romance.
I just wanna clarify, no incel shit. Just “life is complicated” shit. Lol. We all must sacrifice certain things for others, and I willingly sacrifice that aspect for time with my parents. I love them and wouldn’t trade that time for anything else. I’m happy with my choices.
I do, however, have a mostly thriving hookup life. Lol. Gay community comes through for me there. Lmao
I thought that was the point. Looking at other people and thinking “it looks so simple so why can’t I…”
There is nothing in the art that provides evidence for the interpretation of the “simple” couple being in his imagination. For all we know, that is how they exist in their true form.
But I suppose the point of artwork like this is to get us to talk about it and discuss various interpretations, so who am I to suggest only one way of viewing it.
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It is impossible to find a perfect match, but it’s also possible that couples can grow closer and around each other.
Maybe not that phrasing, but there is the phrase, “You’ll find someone”. There’s the belief that there’s somebody for everybody out there, parents eventually seem to want their kids to find someone and make grandkids. I mean, given that there’s billions of us on the planet, there’s bound to be somebody compatible out there, maybe not in your zip code or country, but they’re out there.
Just recently moved and I don’t have a roommate here yet. He’s moving in at the end of the month. It’s just me and my cat and I’m incredibly lonely. I’m lying in bed feeling like shit and depressed right now and she’s on her lil bed attached to my bed because she might as well be a fuzzy shadow. Can honestly say I’d have killed myself without her because she’s the only reason I’m not dead right now
Hang in there, buddy.
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Kitty being the real MVP
Hope you get a good roommate!
So he fucks his dog?
From the look of it the dog fucks him.
Oh so you went directly to PIV PIA even at soul level or do you fuck everything you love and cannot determine the true meaning of intimacy?
PIV PIA
Hey I use PIA VPN
Thats the best way to play Shadow Raid Legends
The notion of there being someone out there who matches you perfectly or completes you is bullshit. Relationships are complex things that require hard work and compromise if you want then to work.
This is some whiny, self-pity emo cringe and is frankly insulting to people who have made relationships work like the two on the couch who I guarantee you didn’t just fit together easily without the aforementioned hard work and compromise.
Or it’s just a comic about a fucked up dog.
What counts is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.
- Leo Tolstoy
I’m so complex and also 14
Please don’t the dog.
everyone out here stuck on fucking a dog. Or being fucked by a dog.
But no one out here is talking about the fact that a relationship is what you make it.
In this case they are making it about fucking that dog.
i mean yeah, that’s one option you could choose. I guess.
Looks like they also need to find a miniature Bactrian camel, among other things.
Soul mates are such nonsense. You’re trying to tell me that out of what, 7 billion humans now, exactly one of them is my soulmate? Yeah no. Even if it was even a 1 in 1,000 chance the odds suck. You’re gonna need to lower them expectations bub.
A lot of people don’t realize relationships take work.
It’s two people who click and both compromise.
When things get difficult you shouldn’t stew in it. Don’t cheat or rebel. Open your fucking mouth and talk to your partner!
Be open and honest with each other.
Be open to compromise (this means to meet each other halfway. Not cave in or only your way).Only after talking things out should you both decide to make a major change like moving on (or even an open relationship).
both compromise
I think online dating is absolutely killing that part. When you have an “unlimited” buffet table in front of you why would you ever think you need to compromise at all?
It’s one of the 2537251728 reasons I loath what online dating has become… You aren’t searching for someone you’re swiping for someone and there’s always that next swipe that could be “the perfect one” so you pass up the people who have one or two minor insignificant things, hoping the next swipe will be 100% of what you want.
I’ve been ignored by people I could swear were my identical twin as far as personality and compatibility and I haven’t the slightest idea why other than a bad picture on my end or something, hell maybe my initial message didn’t read like it was written by Hemingway, I’ll never know. All I know is I’ve read conversations about why people pass and some of the shit is absolutely insane…
I think that’s more of a problem with hookup apps. When one side of the party is just there to get laid, it doesn’t matter what the other party wants in most cases, the “relationship” is never going to take off.
Dating apps tend to be more focused on “who could you see yourself spending your life with”, which is pretty similar to how IRL dating used to be. Most people likely aren’t searching for perfect.
The first two sentences stung. That’s exactly what I feel is true, but the girl I love dearly dumped me to look for her soul mate. Her exact words were “I like you, but it’s too much for me at the moment”. Fuck life :(
I got “you’re the kind of guy I’d want to marry but I want to see who else is out there.”
Same situation, I loved her to death. I really don’t get some people… If you’re so happy with someone that you’d want to marry them then who cares who else is out there?
my head canon is that relationships are just friendships with extra steps.
It’s literally no different.
Relevant xkcd https://what-if.xkcd.com/9/
Yeah expecting one person to fill every role is unhealthy if even dangerous in relationships. It’s enmeshing and codependency. An unhealthy power dynamic. Plus with sexual intimate relationships they often end in the most traumatic way where ghosting is pretty much expected. At least that is pretty common in our swipe culture and divorce leaving a person in a mess. Meanwhile with friends at least you have a network of friends whom you all fulfill different aspects and they don’t challenge each other. You can still have a sexual relationship with someone but it is less impacting on the whole of the person. Having one piece for the dog and another piece with someone else seems entirely much more healthier dynamic on maintaining a whole. That is after all what the other pieces are doing too, they have other things that fulfill different aspects of themselves. It doesn’t have to come from one and only one other person. That is pretty much how our society is put together too. Everything around us are maintained by multiple people doing multiple jobs.
Don’t crop out the artist.
This was clearly made by Herta Burbė, by the way.
Hey thanks for mentioning the artist, I found this online and didn’t have any idea who it was, I’ll update the description
Take the scissors and nail file and get to work, you lazy puzzle piece.
Jigsaw. It’s what the puzzles are named after, after all.
oh, so that’s why ducks evolved weird
You know I didn’t think the original was about sexual compatibility, but now I’m second-guessing that…
I get what this is saying, but I also feel like you can work on yourself to make it easier to connect with others.
Definitely, at least when it comes to most people.
While everyone should do it in some capacity, working on yourself can only go so far if you struggle in social situations because of the symptoms of disorders like autism or ADHD. Sometimes the difficulty to connect stems not from a problem with what the person is doing or saying, but others’ perception of it.
But of course, the types of people they’re surrounded by can affect things a lot, too, especially when there are differences in background, culture, or belief.
Wow… This looks like the cracker I found yesterday that I compared to Mac Tonight.
ITS CRACK TONIIIIITE!
Do you mean Mack The Knife?
That cement is just there for weight.
Dear.
Now he just needs to find pac man, a ball, some sort of lizard, a handgun, and a few other odds and ends to fill him out.
Don’t we all…
