The house next door to me is going up for sale soon and I’d like to delay that process as much as possible. What would be the most annoying music I could play when prospective buyers are next door?
When German people go to hell, or skiing, they are forced into little tents, served shitty overpriced beer, and are subject to repeated blows to their ears by a type of parasitic earworm whispered fearfully only in dark circles as “schlagermusik”.
Once exposed to it, it eats into their brain and gets behind their eyeballs, forcing them to wear manic grins, and tap tables to the weak, incoherent, barely thought out beats drumming mercilessly into what’s left of their soul.
Oktoberfest?
Let him who hath understanding
Reckon the Month of the Beast
For it is a Human Month…
When German people go to hell, or skiing, they are forced into little tents, served shitty overpriced beer, and are subject to repeated blows to their ears
That’s pretty accurate, actually. Same goes for “Apres Ski”, which is the same but more annoying and sexist.
Years after leaving the German part of Switzerland I still get A!-tem!-los! in my head out of nowhere sometimes :(
Oo-la-pa-loo
I was going to say polka music but this is close enough
Alright. Y’all ever hear about the shaggs?
A dad was told by a fortune teller that his yet-unborn kids were destined for musical stardom. After that, the dad had no choice but to force his eventual kids into a band.
These kids had no musical training. No sense of rhythm, no sense of pitch.
Their released music is the auditory equivalent of a child’s crayon drawing hung on the fridge. It’s astoundingly disjointed. It’s all wrong. Frank Zappa said they’re better than the Beatles. SOMEONE out there likes screamo. Some folks out there like bagpipes. Then what happens? Your neighbor loves blasting screamo. You’ve played yourself. Unless Frank Zappa is moving in, you’d be hard pressed to find a potential buyer that like the shaggs.
What’s that dolphin-sounding song someone played during sex in that meme? That.
Alternatively, the brown note (assuming it’s real).
Or like hardcore noise stuff. Is “Wall of sound” a type of it?
Edit: How could I forget Ram Ranch?
Yes! Cbat hahaha. Thanks.
Clown Core is for those with discerning tastes.
I’m not certain about the most annoying, but this song is pretty bad
Exactly what I expected. Saved me from posting it, thank you.
Exactly what I expected to find in the comments
Thank you for this
A low pitched hum that they don’t even notice until they leave and appreciate the silence when they’re away from it.
Calm down satan.
(Top answer though)
i already have tinnitus; i literally can’t sleep without some noise to block it out.
Mine drove me crazy for the first few years. Now i notice it a lot less. Sometimes if i put that ear on my pillow the wooshing drowns out the screeching.
The dreaded B note
Regeaton and Trap 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
I would feel mostly meh about reggaeton if it wasn’t the one and only thing everyone ever hears in a 300km radius of where I live. It’s frankly sad that Latin America, having so much creativity and diversity in culture, ended up with such talentless noise as the absolutely dominant genre.
It’s literally inescapable and an entire generation already only listens to reggaeton. It’s lazy and unpleasant, combined with a completely commercial mindset.
I’m a huge fan of southamerican rock, and sadly is true that it has been drawn by that misogynistic shit.
But bands like Los 3 are still live and so many people still hear them, there is hope.
Apparently you never listened to Young Dolph
Who?
Just play loud ass black metal. The music doesn’t have to be bad, It just needs to scare normies.
Edit: I thought of the most annoying music ever. Crunkcore! Play some Blood on the Dancefloor and people will fuck off to avoid listening to that shit.
Oh man, you weren’t kidding. That’s just objectively bad.
Right? It’s the fucking worst.
This is not a judgement of the musical genre and I think it’s way more profound and expressive than the average commodified pop music we have. However, I remember making a report about the history of music (for an arts appreciation class in college) and I ended the report with some Japanoise (a genre of noise music) like this one:
The teacher was really delighted, but my classmates were like “WTF?”
EDIT: Reworded some confusing sentence construction
I mean honestly through a wall the only annoying music is thumpy bass with a big subwoofer. Unless you’re playing it suuuuuuper loud.
They’ll be looking at the backyard for this property so walls not needed. There’s only about 6 feet that will separate their property from my Bluetooth speakers.
Then kids bop.
Bagpipes
If it won’t get you in trouble, throw some cheap lawn ornaments up as well. Maybe get creative with loose hubcaps.
No HOA thankfully. I’d paint my house with big, veiny, throbbing dicks if I thought it’d do the trick.
This indeed would probably do the trick
I’ll raise “Sales Call Abyss”, a hold music made for torturing telemarketers if you have access to your work’s phone exchange
Play banana phone on repeat 24/7 at max volume
