One of our customers operates out of two leased “office” trailers next to an old pole barn in the middle of a corn field.
From there, they “operate” 17 different companies, all demanding separate billing from us.
There’s no WAY it’s legit. They have more “official” registered companies than they have office employees.
Edited because mobile sucks
Could it be a landlord situation? It’s pretty cheap to open an LLC. Sometimes landlords will open many of them, an LLC for every rental property they own. It protects them from liability. If something goes really wrong and a tenant sues them for big $$$, the most they risk losing is the single rental house the tenant is renting.
Ironically that’s one of the things they don’t claim to be involved in.
To list some of the things they claim to do
Construction
Hydro excavating
“Tribal Economic Development”
Native American health insurance
“Health” supplements (think: “vitality” pills)
Renewable Energy projects
Manufacturing
Finance
Industrial development (though never actually heard of a won bid)
(all of these entities are “owned” by a Native American- which I’ve alwas suspected is for tax benefit purposes)eh. you know what? let em.
The feds (and white men) have fucked them around for 400 years. Let 'em grift everything they can.
Won’t somebody please think of the landlords?
I keep thinking about the pizza store that was opened as a front for the mafia but did such good business that they quit doing the mafia thing and just sold pizzas full-time
There’s an Italian restaurant in Denver (Gaetano’s) that was opened in the 40s to give the mob wives something to keep them busy and to launder money. The mob is long gone, but the restaurant is still pretty popular.
It’s good stuff too!
Had an amazing Chinese restaurant near my old place, really excellent food but always completely deserted. They always seemed so surprised that when we called for takeout and whenever we collected it they’d chat about how busy they’d been, and how bus loads of tourists stop by, it just happens to be empty right now… Uhuh. Surrre. I live in this street, I don’t see busses of anyone. But the food was consistently excellent, so they must have actively not advertised because otherwise they’d been super popular.
A maybe-related but maybe-not story: I heard someone talk about walking into an out-of-the-way pizza place. Inside, there were no customers, but there was one employee and there seemed to be a few guys in suits just standing around talking to him. Everyone there was surprised to see anyone walking in, and even more surprised when he ordered a pizza. The pizza took ages to make, like over a half hour, but he did get a pizza; they handed it to him and hustled him out the door without even taking his money. I think they might’ve even locked the door behind him, I don’t remember.
The way the story goes, he took it home and ate it, and it was the absolute best pizza he’d ever had in his life. But every time he tried to go back after that, the place was closed.
I heard a very similar story, except it was one Italian grandma with a bunch of dudes in suits. She proceeded to serve him the single largest, most elaborate, and most delicious Italian dinner he had ever had. Apparently he could see into the kitchen, and she was making everything from scratch. He was there for like two hours, and she just kept bringing more plates out even though he hadn’t actually ordered anything. All because she was so excited to finally have someone to cook for. She even sat with him to chat, and was clearly happy to just have someone except the angry-looking dudes in suits to talk to. IIRC the suits didn’t even take payment before he was ushered out of the door.
He tried to go back like a week later, but the place was totally deserted.
Your story is so familiar, I wonder if maybe I misremembered that one.
Thought I’d read your exact post before even :)
Whoa, this is like…real-time archaeology of my own brain. I know for sure I’ve read this tweet before (when I was writing it, I was about to write “New Jersey” but that didn’t sound right so I left the state off entirely). I bet I probably have also heard the Italian grandma story, and mixed them both in my head because what are the odds that there are three such stories? (including the one I posted originally about the mafia front that went legit because the pizza biz was better).
Yeah, the one table i saw eating in was a group of young guys in smart suits looking very serious.
I miss the little mob money laundering pizza place that I went to as a kid. Absolutely amazing pizza. Never the same after the feds shut down the drug trafficking ring behind it all and deported the owner.
On the flip side, there’s a local pizza place where I currently live that’s fucking terrible. Some of the worst pizza I’ve ever had. It made me wonder how they could stay in business. Then I found out that name of the business happened to also be the name of the local mafia family.
Local places are always one or the other: either they’re the best thing you’ve ever eaten and you can’t wait to get back there and have it again, or they’re just the worst. I guess that applies to mafia fronts, too.
Sounds like the comic book origin story for Godfather’s Pizza.
My town has like 20+ different barbershops within a couple blocks from each other. They only do the most basic mens haircuts, rarely have any customers, cheap, and cash-only. The business usually lasts for a little over a year, and then suddenly they get some new signage… and another barbershop is reborn! All using similar stock image logos as well.
I went to one a couple years back and I had to basically buzzcut myself to be presentable again.
That might genuinely just be bad business practices though
I have a friend who is a process server, they’ve told me countless stories of going to serve legal papers to a business but the business name had changed and wasn’t the same as on the paperwork so they couldn’t serve the papers
What do you mean? It’s not just a name change, it’s a whole new company with seemingly new owners every time.
I’ve also checked how much it costs to rent there, and they would need to cut over 200 heads per month simply to cover rent. If you throw in a poverty-level salary for a single person, the heads required will triple.
Of course nothing definite, but it sure is a weird cycle.
I was also thinking that businesses are bought and sold all the time. My local mechanic seemed to change owners once every several years.
Yeah if they were expensive it’d be one thing but cheap implies they want traffic
There was a restaurant in my old town that repeatedly opened under different names and in different areas of town. You knew it was the same owners because they had this signature “pink rice” and always had the same menu. Word is they kept getting shut down for not meeting health standards but would just reopen under a different name and location. They’ve finally settled on one place and have been there for probably 5 years now, so they must’ve got their lives sorted. Decent sushi though and they have deep fried ice cream which is top notch.
A lot of these serve as ways to help immigrants gain a stable footing. This is why the staff changes all the time, the business just exists to get the employees a quick work visa so they can enter the country. Once they have better work lined up, they move on.
Bakery across from prisoners rights office I used to volunteer at. Went to get a loaf to make a sandwich once. Open shelving all around, mostly bare except for a few dusty loaves. Ask this big, very white man with a head like a four-slice toaster, for said loaf and he goes in the back and comes out with a bag of Wonderbread rofl.
We have a local chain of antique shops, very high-end
Never see anyone come or go
We’re lousy with antique shops here, but there is this one that is only open two days a week, for a few hours. They just sell thrift store quality junk and discounted (new) disposable kitchenware. They start cleaning 30 minutes before “closing time” and don’t let you in the store.
There is a possibility that all of their real business is online and they just keep the storefront open with the crap stuff so they can claim to be a brick and mortar store.
Unless they’re a distributor or operating under a different name online I can’t seem to find anything
Their 3 separate ornate stores in a town with a population less than 20k do not direct anyone online
‘Smartphone repair shop’ near where I live. Has always light on (24/7 confirmed), but nobody inside. At times an ad flag (those 2mt tall with the shop name on it) comes out and is near the entrance.
One time I managed to catch a guy behind the counter and entered for asking if they had some spare parts (I think it was a battery) and he looked fucking disgusted just because I dared to enter. Useless to say, they did not have any spare parts.
As of today (4 or 5 months), not a single client entered.
Also, that shop that sells completely random stuff (chandeliers, dolls, weird statues, horrible carpets and so much more junk), never seen it open but have been there for like at least 30 years.
Also, that shop that sells completely random stuff (chandeliers, dolls, weird statues, horrible carpets and so much more junk), never seen it open but have been there for like at least 30 years.
We had one of those. It turns out it was owned by a rental agent, and he just used it to store the random stuff he’d use to furnish appartments with to rent out.
Also, that shop that sells completely random stuff (chandeliers, dolls, weird stautes statues, horrible carpets and so much more junk), never seen it open but have been there for like at least 30 years.
Oh yeah, we also have this in my city, in quite a prime spot of the old town. However since it’s such an old shop, I’m not sure if it just belongs to a family that owns (not rents) that space since generations (and isn’t really sure what to do with it except for “selling” that stuff).
Yeah that was my first thought, I’ve seen a ton of those old stores that are just abandoned with inventory still inside, even went exploring one once, second floor was starting to fall in, I didn’t dare enter the basement because it felt like the beginning of a slasher movie… Owner lives a few houses down the road and just continues paying his taxes so he doesn’t care…
That one
In eastern europe it’s like every second shop so you get quickly used to it
The “Water and Donut Store” where they get mad if you ask for donuts, say it’s not the right time of day for donuts (all times of day/night are the wrong time, but there are always three or four stale, lonely donuts in the large glass donut cases) and have a station where you may, for a small fee, fill your water jugs with minimally filtered tap water. 🤨
say it’s not the right time of day for donuts
This feels like it’s taken right out of a video game.
We have a jewelry store in town that is by appointment only. During the day there’s always a high end car parked at the back of the store but you never see anyone in there. When my buddy was getting ready to propose he tried calling to get an appointment and it went straight to voicemail with a message that said private clients only and then beeped. He left a message but never heard back. I’ve never met anyone who has seen anyone go in or come out of that place.
Local Italian hotdog place that rarely open and when it does it for 1 hour only.
Reminds me of a story I once read about a couple being on holiday in Italy. They went in a local pizzeria and were the only ones in there, they got pretty shady looks from everyone, but still ordered a pizza. It was the best pizza they ever had. Also, for the whole time they were there, no customer came there and it was silent.
I’m interested in the by appointment only hot dog place. They are probably the greatest hotdogs ever.
No, that’s just a high end jeweler
I mean that’s a kind of money laundering all in itself tho
My thought too. Probably by referral only or something.
Not quite the same but I used to work at a local, family owned supermarket chain that is now out of business. I started at one of the busiest locations, but after I moved apartments I transferred to another location that was out in the 'burbs. At the first location I worked at, all our equipment was well maintained, stock was reasonable, stuff seemed normal.
At the suburban location, our equipment was all falling apart. The roof leaked. The other stores sent us their overstock and charged it to our departments. I was in the deli, and one day the contracted maintenance guy was there and I asked if he could take a look at one of the meat slicers. He said sorry, corporate told him not to do any work at this location that they hadn’t pre-approved.
My first hypothesis was that this location didn’t make any money, and that’s why they didn’t want to spend to fix it. One day I decided to ask the store manager about it—he was pretty chill and we talked sometimes, so I figured he wouldn’t mind. I said “Does this store actually make any money?” and he said “Well, let me put it this way: the numbers I report to corporate show that every department here, except floral, makes a profit every month. And then the numbers they put out in the quarterly reports show that we’ve never made a profit since we opened.”
“Where does the money go?” I asked.
“That’s above my pay grade,” he said.
I’m convinced someone was embezzling funds. A couple years after I left, the whole chain closed one day with no notice to the employees.
That’s just terrible management
Used to ship auto parts from a company called ‘Specialty Products Company’.
“what’d you guys sell”
“IDK… ‘Products?’…”
Still not convinced they aren’t a money launderer.
There’s all sorts of brands like that on RockAuto for auto parts. FAMOUS BRAND is one. They sell $7 brake pad sets, maybe it’s a brand that shouldn’t be famous.
I suppose there could be business in procurement of “specialty products”. These guys do all the shopping around or find someone to make that one odd part you need or figure where to get 50,000 packages of foobar and how to ship/store it while you continue on with your life.
Back in the early 2000s, when malls were still frequented, there was a tea shop down a dark wing that was rarely visited. I was on a tea bender and visited often, it was always empty. The man who ran the shop was very friendly. He was so friendly that he never failed to overstuff the tea I bought, give me a free hot tea, my choice, even the very expensive tea, on the spot, and heavily discount the tea I did pay for. I recommended him to friends and family, who reported the same experience. Empty shop, free and discounted tea, very friendly.
After a while, he opened up a little. He was from Iran. He had to leave very quickly, but he missed his home country. When asked why he left, he would dodge the question. People I sent to visit also reported his question dodging. He hesitated to say much about Iran beyond its ancient (and very cool) history.
I do not think he was laundering money, but he wasn’t there to make money. My guess is that he was whisked away by the US Government/CIA and given a new home in a quiet town where he could finally relax and just sell tea.
A few times, his older son was in the shop and was always visibly frustrated or bored, and he expressed a strong desire to “go home” back to Iran. The tea shop man tried to hide the seriousness in his tone when asking his son to be quiet. On occasion, his wife was there. She was friendly enough when speaking to you but always had a wary look on her face when you walked into the shop, looking right at your face for the first few seconds. I know that look personally. She was looking for danger in a face.
Even after the mall’s soul died and the anchor stores left, the little friendly tea shop in the dark, empty wing stayed.
That family was not there to make money selling tea. Very, very good tea, might I add. Such a friendly man. I hope they found peace.
I hope they found peace.
Well yes, except obviously not now that you’ve told on them and assasins find them.
But up to this point, prolly, yeah.
That’s lovely. I’m my experience, tea people are special people.
until deprived of tea.
then they’re special monsters.
To be fair, he might not have been hiding from anyone specifically, it could’ve just been they had escaped from a war zone and didn’t want to talk about it.
Yeah, that’s probably more likely.
There’s a psychic/tarot reader on the highway near me that’s been around as long as I can remember, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a car parked out front.
No no that’s a failed cult. Quite different.
A failed cult would actually fail at some point, as in run out of money and lose the property.
These guys? Nope. I’m not sure a nuclear holocaust would uproot them at this point.
It’s pretty clever if it is a money laundering front actually because a “business” like that doesn’t really do anything that generates much paperwork and can claim it charged imaginary customers any amount it wants without having to justify it.
I found a money laundering deli
It’s amazing, they love having customers as it improves their cover so everything is dirt cheap and really high quality.
Sometimes people come in and the guy behind the register politely shuffles us out with an armful of free cold cuts and a wink
None of you will ever hear about this place from my lips
You think anyone does crime to support their dream of being a shop keeper with good deals?
We need to cook JackbyDev
Hope you meant
We need to cook, JackbyDev
I’d do it, but I think I’d be worse at being a criminal.
Start with small crimes like violating hygiene regulations!
you mean the 12 car washes that all sprung up at the same exact time all within 5 miles of each other?
the same ones that have practically zero cars driving through them because they opened at the height of 2020 where nobody was driving anymore?
the same ones that somehow weathered a bust market for carwashes for 3 years?
the same ones that are owned by two guys with the same last name that look suspiciously like retired mafia?
you mean those places?
nah, they’re just a couple brothers that were really successful before the pandemic.
Carwashes are a decent choice of laundering business, but are also a business with remarkably low overhead. They are a popular choice of business for someone who wants to buy land and sit on it in a place they believe will become developed so they can sell it later. There is a large initial outlay for building the structure, but the actual machines and installation can cost less than buying a car. Upkeep is surprisingly simple and costs less than you probably think. The soaps and chemicals are dirt cheap and sold in 30-55gal quantities that last a month or more depending on traffic. The only real overhead if you aren’t getting customers is your mortgage and payroll, and you’d be paying a mortgage even if you just bought the land and did nothing with it. Not to mention touchless carwashes only require staff when there is a problem and any touch carwash can be run by a single person.
I know of a guy that installed a drive through car wash in his driveway. Nobody goes there but it’s apparently really loud when it runs and his son ran through it one time. He got pretty banged up.
sounds like its broken badly. his walter bills must be loco, eh?
